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Saturday, June 2, 2018

#WeWriWa - Numbers Never Lie


Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors where authors share an 8 - 10 sentence snippet. Be sure to visit the other authors. You can find them here

Sorry I was so late visiting all of you last weekend. I'll try to do better this week. I'm back to sharing snippets from my WIP, NUMBERS NEVER LIE, a romantic suspense. Maggie and Drew have returned from the camping trip. While his daughter goes off with her friend, Drew cons Maggie into making him dinner (ostensibly because he helped her chaperone). They've just entered her house.

Please excuse the rogue commas.

Maggie hooked her keys on the rack just inside the door from the garage and pulled off her baseball cap, then sailed it into the combination laundry room/lavatory where the cap landed on top of the washer.
“Nice shot,” Drew leaned against the doorframe to the garage to remove his boots—an unexpectedly thoughtful gesture, “You never could sink a basket, though.”
“Didn’t matter,” She untied her bandanna, wadded it up, and tossed it overhand; the ball landed neatly inside the upturned cap, “Baseball was my game.”
“I know—MVP your senior year—you had an arm that put many guys to shame. When you used to fire the ball from the outfield to home, I’d wonder if the catcher’s glove was smoking.”
She laughed, surprised—and pleased—at his memory, “Al Kaline was my hero.”
“You know,” Drew mused, “I’ve seen a side of you this weekend I’ve never seen before.”
While he padded in his socks down the short hall into the kitchen, she asked, “In what way?”
“You were never this mouthy when Jack and I let you tag along with us.”
Let me tag along?” she snorted, “you guys tried everything you could think of to lose me.”


This is the tentative blurb (suggestions welcome):

A shocking secret brings danger to Jack Sinclair and his sister Maggie. 

As kids, they were the fearless threesome. As adults, Jack's an accountant; Drew, a lawyer; Maggie, a teacher and camping troop leader. Returning from a weekend camping trip, Maggie receives horrifying news. She refuses to believe her brother’s fatal car crash was an accident. If the police won’t investigate, she’ll do it herself. Convincing Drew Campbell to help is her only recourse.

Drew Campbell was too busy to return his best friend’s phone call. Too busy to attend a camping meeting important to his teen daughter. Too busy to stay in touch with Jack. Logic and reason indicate Jack’s accident was just that--an accident caused by fatigue and fog. Prodded by guilt, he’ll help Maggie even if he thinks she’s wrong.

A break-in at Jack’s condo convinces Maggie she’s right. Then her home is searched. What did Jack leave behind?





25 comments:

  1. Funny how it can be remembered two completely different ways by two different people. :-)

    Nice snippet. Loads of chemistry being established here. :-)

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  2. Sounds like a typical conversation about the past. I could imagine it perfectly. Well done! :)

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    1. Thanks so much, Jess. They are still in that tiptoeing around each other phase.

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  3. Nice scene, I liked that she is still athletic and hasn't lost her abilities. Amusing how they each remember the same events from different perspectives. Enjoyed the excerpt!

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    1. Thanks, Veronica. A little foreshadowing there. hehehe

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  4. Loved the banter about the past and easy way the conversation came about.

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    1. Thanks. It's not always easy to drop tidbits of the past without doing an info dump.

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  5. Natural, entertaining dialogue. They seem very easy with each other, which is a great foundation for something else!

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    1. After a long break (several years), they've fallen back into their youthful friendship.

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  6. Super good in every way. Write on. You have this reader waiting.

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  7. Love the shared past and the humor.

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  8. Great snippet. I look forward to reading more.

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  9. Great show of her skills and the beginning of banter between them. Wonderful snippet!

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  10. Great banter - the dialogue sounds really natural and I like the last line!

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    1. Thanks. 2 older boys and a kid sister--only time they wanted her around was when they played baseball.

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  11. You did a great job bringing the scene to life. I could picture it as if it was happening in front of me.

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