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Saturday, October 15, 2016

#8Sunday #WeWriWa THE PILOT


Welcome to Weekend Writing Warrior and 8 Sentence Sunday time, the weekly hop for everyone who loves to write! Writers share an 8 to 10 sentence snippet. Be sure to visit the other writers. You can find them here.

Today my snippet is again from The Pilot (An Outer Rim Novel: Book 1). The Outer Rim series is about strong women on the frontier of space. Last week, Trevarr confiscated Celara's vessel and cargo. We continue from there. Please forgive all the "saids" and commas used to fit the required length.

Trevarr watched the small fem’s mouth work furiously, until she found her voice, stomped up to him and said, “You can’t do that, I haven’t done anything wrong.”
The Security detail stepped forward to intervene, but he signaled for the guards to lower their weapons and remain alert. While she held no weapon, he could not be certain one was not hidden in the various pockets of her roomy shirt or the trousers she’d tucked into high-top black boots--boots small enough to fit a child.
“You did not stop for an inspection when ordered to do so.” Though she hollered “What?” he went on, “You repeatedly ignored a direct order from Coalition Security . . . near the Ytersigon Asteroid Field.”
“How do you know about that--never mind--that vessel had no identification, they didn’t use an official comm channel--they were pirates, not Coalition.”
“No, Coalition, and you should have responded. Had you allowed the ship to dock with yours, you would have been presented with proper identification . . . you should not have run.”

“What?” She stood hip-shot. “I should just open my airlock to anybody?”

Life on the frontier of space is hard enough for a freighter pilot, so when pirates stole Celara d'Enfaden's cargo, she vowed not to be tricked again. Determined to make an example out of indie pilots who disobey orders, Coalition Administrator Trevarr Jovano impounds Celara’s starship and cargo. If he backs down, he’ll lose respect. If she can’t deliver her cargo, she’ll default on her loan and lose her only home—her ship. More important than her ship, though, is her brother. To rescue him from a galactic gangster, she’ll even work with Trevarr who’s bent on avenging his wife’s murder.







29 comments:

  1. I wouldn't open my door to a complete stranger either. Not without proper ID. Though, that can't always be trusted either. Nice snippet! :)

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    1. After losing her cargo to pirates, can you blame her?

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  2. One of my favorite spunky girls! Logic - Take that!

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  3. “I should just open my airlock to anybody?”

    I love the double entendre, Diane.

    She is right of course.

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  4. I agree with Kim. Wow! She is feisty. Good writing.

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  5. She makes a good point. Why were they being so unofficial? Love how she's not intimidated by him.

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    1. A screw up on Trevarr's part. He got hell for it from his security chief. (I hadn't shared that part.)

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  6. Heck no. I wouldn't open the airlock door either. Glad she's holding her ground.

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  7. Well I'm with her, I wouldn't have let the unidentified ship dock either. He's being kind of obtuse here in my opinion. But an interesting snippet!

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  8. I love a feisty woman. She's definitely not intimidated by him. Good snippet!

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    1. Even though he's bigger than her, she doesn't let that stop her.

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  9. Good girl, Celara! Stand your ground.

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    1. :) (I wish there was a way to "like" a comment.)

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  10. Surely there's some sort of electronic ID they could've used. Expecting her to blithely let someone board is a bit much.

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  11. Great setup for some romantic tension.

    I don't know why you think you need "saids" for length? I don't understand.

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    1. If I didn't use the saids, my sentences would be shorter & I'd go over the limit.

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  12. Feisty - that's always good.
    Tweeted.

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  13. Glad she's not putting up with his aggressive macho-speak!

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  14. Loving the turn this scene took from earlier, as well as her fiery responses. ;)

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