Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors where authors share an 8 - 10 sentence snippet. Be sure to visit the other authors. You can find them here.
Thanks to everyone who visited last week. I always enjoy your comments. Here's where we are. The stranger offers to help Rissa and her friends rescue kids from a traffickers' spaceship, but they won't come out. We pick up where we left off last week.
Rissa Dix. Dillan would recognize her
voice anywhere. He couldn’t believe he’d found her so soon . . . and in such a
dangerous position. Once inside the cargo hold, he assessed the situation—children
of both sexes and a variety of races huddled in small groups against the
bulkhead. They weren’t moving.
In his sternest voice, and in Traishan
like Rissa, he ordered, “Get out—now—danger.”
She whirled on him. “You can’t—”
Either his tone or his words had the
desired effect—the children scurried around Rissa, carefully avoided
him, and dashed down the ramp.
Who knew rescuing two girls from traffickers would bring down a world of hurt?
After tavern owner Rissa Dix rescues two girls from a slave ship, she must rally the townsfolk to prevent traffickers from returning. Mining heir Dillan Rusteran has loved her for years. Little do they know that by rescuing more children they're tangling with a galactic trafficking ring.
Be sure to check out the other WeWriWa authors.
That snippet leaves the reader with all kinds of questions. Well done! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jess.
DeleteHe certainly knows how to achieve the 'desired effect'! :)
ReplyDeleteLOL He does, indeed.
DeleteThis is such a great story! :-) "...scurried..." gives such a good visual.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Teresa. Sometimes the best word pops in my head. Not often, mind you.
Deleteterrific snippet. I scurried right along with them.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Charmaine.
DeleteI love this story's concept. ^_^
ReplyDeleteThanks, Misha.
DeleteWell, his method worked!
ReplyDeleteYep, even if she didn't approve.
DeleteHe's definitely got that authoritative tone about him haha. Nice snippet!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jacob. There she was trying to be kind and understanding and they listen to Dillan instead.
DeleteHe is obviously not a person to be ignored. A man of authority. Great snippet.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely. Waits until she realizes who he is. :)
DeleteSo I wonder why they were willing to go when he gave the order? Intriguing development, also that he knows Rissa. Hmmm....enjoyed the excerpt! Not exactly what I expected to happen, which is always fun for a reader.
ReplyDeleteSurprises are good.
Deletegood kids. They know what to do.
ReplyDelete:)
DeleteHe must have used the "voice of authority." Parents use it when necessary. So do teachers. That voice that gives children no alternative.
ReplyDeleteYou got it.
DeleteShe might not approve, but he got the children moving.
ReplyDeleteAnd that was the most important thing,
DeleteI knew Dillan would become an important character -- and a good guy.
ReplyDeleteYou're so smart, Ed. :)
DeleteWhile it wasn't nice to scare the kids further, they did need to get moving. So, A for effort?
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely.
DeleteThat's an interesting snippet. And I love the name Rissa.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Chrys. Glad you like her name. It just sounded right for her when I first used it in THE PILOT. I'm so glad I finally got to tell her story.
Delete