Thanks for all your comments on last week's snippet. I'm sharing a work-in-progress. It's a romantic suspense about a woman who doesn't believe her brother's car crash was an accident. Suggestions are very welcome.
Today's snippet picks up right after last week's, which ended with The numb-nut scaring her half to death had better be him.
In
case it wasn’t, Maggie moved quietly to the rack on the wall where the garden
tools hung. It was a good thing she’d leaned the shovel against the wall
instead of hanging it up properly. The awful screech when she’d pulled it off the hook would've given the intruder warning. She seized the
shovel just as the figure outside bent in half and ducked under the door.
Maggie raised the shovel, ala Detroit
Tiger Miguel Cabrera, fully prepared to whack the intruder. When he
straightened, his look of surprise almost matched hers.
“Jack Sinclair,” she yelled, “What
are you doing sneaking up on me?”
“Whoa!”
Her brother recovered, right after dropping a plastic CD case on the dusty
garage floor and a CD spilled out, “What are you doing here?”
She
lowered the shovel, “Gee, I don’t know. Ya think maybe because I live here?”
Well, neither expected to run into each other. I'm sure Maggie has many questions for her brother after this. Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jess. Oh, yeah. Lots of questions.
DeleteWhacking him with a shovel would probably be carrying sibling rivalry too far. Good thing she held up.
ReplyDeleteLOL, Ed. That would teach him not to sneak into his sister's house.
DeleteGrew up in Windsor - the Detroit Tigers have been and will always be my team. Great to see the reference to them :-)
ReplyDeleteTweeted.
Thanks, Daryl. I grew up in a Detroit suburb. Have to include the Tigers in my books.
DeleteApparently he wasn’t expecting her to be home. I wonder why?
ReplyDeleteHe explains that. In the next section.
DeleteInteresting moment between them...leaves me very curious why he's there, and with cds. Great snippet, very dramatic!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Veronica.
DeleteHe's lucky she didn't swing first and ask questions later. Lots of good intriguing elements in this snippet.
ReplyDeleteHe sure is, Alexis. Thanks.
DeleteHaha I love the attitude in that last line!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Amy. She does have a mouth on her.
DeleteLOL - she just lives there!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Aurora.
DeleteWow,love her sass. Great piece Diane!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Trin.
Deletehahaha What is he doing there? I'm wondering about that CD that dropped out of his bag. It seems important.
ReplyDeleteYou are too clever, Elyzabeth. More on that next weekend.
DeleteLOL, great last line! Love it!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lyn.
Deletelol--her last line of dialogue--it was so well-written, I swear I could hear her say it. Good word choice!
ReplyDeleteNo snippet for me this week. :-)
Thanks Teresa. Looking forward to reading your snippet next week.
Delete