Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors where authors share an 8 - 10 sentence snippet. Be sure to visit the other authors. You can find them here.
Thanks for all your comments on last week's snippet. I'm sharing a work-in-progress, tentatively titled Unpredictable Nature, a romantic suspense about a woman who doesn't believe her brother's car crash was an accident.
Suggestions are very welcome on the blurb as well as the snippet. Please excuse the rogue commas.
Today's snippet is still from the first chapter. Maggie's brother Jack stopped by unexpectedly in the middle of the day. During lunch, she tries to discover why, but he changes the subject to the camping equipment he saw in the garage.
“So, who’s helping you with
the camping trip this weekend?” Jack popped a couple of grapes in his mouth.
“Ellen’s dad,” Maggie said.
“Drew Campbell?" Jack laughed—almost braying, "The guy
whose idea of casual is loosening his tie?”
She tapped her short,
no-nonsense fingernails on the table, “I’m so glad I could provide
entertainment with lunch, by the way, I loaned him your sleeping
bag and backpack,” She worked hard not to smirk.
“My equipment? You loaned
out my camping equipment?”
“He’s your friend, I didn’t
think you’d mind.”
“Oh, God, I wish I could be there to watch,” Jack laughed so
hard tears formed, “Drew Campbell wimped out of Cub Scouts.”
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| photo credit: Joshua Gresham on Unsplash |
Tentative blurb:
A shocking secret brings danger to Jack Sinclair and his sister Maggie.
As kids, they were the fearless threesome. As adults, Jack's an accountant; Drew, a lawyer; Maggie, a teacher and camping troop leader. Returning from a weekend camping trip, Maggie receives horrifying news. She refuses to believe her
brother’s fatal car crash was an accident. If the police won’t investigate,
she’ll do it herself. Convincing Drew Campbell to help is her only recourse.
Drew Campbell was too busy to return his best
friend’s phone call. Too busy to attend a camping meeting important to his teen
daughter. Too busy to stay in touch with Jack. Logic and reason indicate Jack’s
accident was just that--an accident caused by fatigue and fog. Prodded by
guilt, he’ll help Maggie even if he thinks she’s wrong.
A break-in at Jack’s condo convinces Maggie she’s right. Then
her home is searched. What did Jack hide?
Be sure to check out the other WeWriWa authors.
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My book Switched is under science fiction romance.
This gets more and more intriguing. I really like the element of humour in this snippet, too!
ReplyDeleteThanks. I try.
DeleteMaybe Drew has other intentions? Nice snippet!
ReplyDeleteHehehe. Maybe.
DeleteThis passage serves to build the personalities of both Drew and Jack.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ed. That's what I was going for.
DeleteInteresting.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Dolorah.
DeleteGreat snippet. Had me smiling at his enjoyment of the situation. Tweeted.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Daryl. He sure was.
DeleteHmmm, intriguing snippet, makes me wonder what kind of a guy Drew grew up to be! Enjoying the story...
ReplyDeleteThanks, Veronica.
DeleteHere, take my camping equipment! I will go glamping instead. :D Great snippet, Diane! Love the humour!
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, Julie. I did my share of camping. Give me a nice hotel.
DeletePossible love interest in the making? Lots of interesting character dynamics going on here.
ReplyDeleteLove interest? Of course. It's a romantic suspense. :)
DeleteGreat dialogue!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Amy.
DeleteLOLQ Wimped out of Cub Scout says it all. Great use of dialog to establish character, Di.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Nance!
DeleteI’m curious to know more about Drew. Great snippet.
ReplyDeleteOh, good. :) Thanks, Karen.
DeleteInteresting portrayal of Drew.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Aurora.
DeleteVery interesting! Should be quite the camping trip.
ReplyDeleteOh, yeah! Maggie, Drew, and 8 14-year-old girls.
DeleteI've been out of the loop for a while. Love this new (to me) project.
ReplyDeleteThanks. Glad you're back.
DeleteWimped out of Cub Scout camp? That one line speaks volumes about the guy! I also loved the line about tapping her "non-nonsense fingernails" on the table. Speaks volumes about her too! Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jenna. Glad you saw all that.
DeleteThe blurb and excerpt caught my attention with no trouble at all. I'd keep reading. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Elaine. I'm still working on the blurb.
DeleteI love the humor in this snippet. The blurb is excellent. It has me reeled in already!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Teresa. I'm glad.
DeleteI'm impressed the guy volunteered, if he's so lacking in skill. Not sure he'll be a lot of help, though.
ReplyDeleteAs one of the woodsy inept, I feel his pain, but I still snickered at it. :)
LOL, Caitlin. There's more to that story.
DeleteHA! "His idea of casual is loosening is tie". You established his character in one sentence and now I can't wait to see him prove her wrong.
ReplyDelete