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Saturday, March 3, 2018

#WeWriWa - The Camping Trip


Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors where authors share an 8 - 10 sentence snippet. Be sure to visit the other authors. You can find them here

Thanks for all your comments on last week's snippet. I'm sharing a work-in-progress, tentatively titled Unpredictable Nature, a romantic suspense about a woman who doesn't believe her brother's car crash was an accident. 

Suggestions are very welcome on the blurb as well as the snippet. Please excuse the rogue commas.

Today's snippet is still from the first chapter. Maggie's brother Jack stopped by unexpectedly in the middle of the day. During lunch, she tries to discover why, but he changes the subject to the camping equipment he saw in the garage.

“So, who’s helping you with the camping trip this weekend?” Jack popped a couple of grapes in his mouth.
“Ellen’s dad,” Maggie said.
“Drew Campbell?" Jack laughed—almost braying, "The guy whose idea of casual is loosening his tie?”
She tapped her short, no-nonsense fingernails on the table, “I’m so glad I could provide entertainment with lunch, by the way, I loaned him your sleeping bag and backpack,” She worked hard not to smirk.
“My equipment? You loaned out my camping equipment?”
“He’s your friend, I didn’t think you’d mind.”
“Oh, God, I wish I could be there to watch,” Jack laughed so hard tears formed, “Drew Campbell wimped out of Cub Scouts.”


photo credit: Joshua Gresham on Unsplash

Tentative blurb:


A shocking secret brings danger to Jack Sinclair and his sister Maggie. 

As kids, they were the fearless threesome. As adults, Jack's an accountant; Drew, a lawyer; Maggie, a teacher and camping troop leader. Returning from a weekend camping trip, Maggie receives horrifying news. She refuses to believe her brother’s fatal car crash was an accident. If the police won’t investigate, she’ll do it herself. Convincing Drew Campbell to help is her only recourse.

Drew Campbell was too busy to return his best friend’s phone call. Too busy to attend a camping meeting important to his teen daughter. Too busy to stay in touch with Jack. Logic and reason indicate Jack’s accident was just that--an accident caused by fatigue and fog. Prodded by guilt, he’ll help Maggie even if he thinks she’s wrong.

A break-in at Jack’s condo convinces Maggie she’s right. Then her home is searched. What did Jack hide?



This weekend, you can find SciFi & Fantasy novels for 99c at http://pattyjansen.com/promo/3-4-march-2017-99c-promo/
My book Switched is under science fiction romance.

37 comments:

  1. This gets more and more intriguing. I really like the element of humour in this snippet, too!

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  2. Maybe Drew has other intentions? Nice snippet!

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  3. This passage serves to build the personalities of both Drew and Jack.

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  4. Great snippet. Had me smiling at his enjoyment of the situation. Tweeted.

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  5. Hmmm, intriguing snippet, makes me wonder what kind of a guy Drew grew up to be! Enjoying the story...

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  6. Julie Evelyn JoyceMarch 4, 2018 at 10:01 AM

    Here, take my camping equipment! I will go glamping instead. :D Great snippet, Diane! Love the humour!

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    1. I'm with you, Julie. I did my share of camping. Give me a nice hotel.

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  7. Possible love interest in the making? Lots of interesting character dynamics going on here.

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    1. Love interest? Of course. It's a romantic suspense. :)

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  8. LOLQ Wimped out of Cub Scout says it all. Great use of dialog to establish character, Di.

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  9. I’m curious to know more about Drew. Great snippet.

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  10. Very interesting! Should be quite the camping trip.

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    1. Oh, yeah! Maggie, Drew, and 8 14-year-old girls.

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  11. I've been out of the loop for a while. Love this new (to me) project.

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  12. Wimped out of Cub Scout camp? That one line speaks volumes about the guy! I also loved the line about tapping her "non-nonsense fingernails" on the table. Speaks volumes about her too! Great snippet!

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  13. The blurb and excerpt caught my attention with no trouble at all. I'd keep reading. Nicely done.

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    1. Thanks, Elaine. I'm still working on the blurb.

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  14. I love the humor in this snippet. The blurb is excellent. It has me reeled in already!

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  15. I'm impressed the guy volunteered, if he's so lacking in skill. Not sure he'll be a lot of help, though.
    As one of the woodsy inept, I feel his pain, but I still snickered at it. :)

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  16. HA! "His idea of casual is loosening is tie". You established his character in one sentence and now I can't wait to see him prove her wrong.

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