Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors where authors share an 8 - 10 sentence snippet. Be sure to visit the other authors. You can find them here.
Thanks for all your comments on last week's snippet. I'm glad you like the new title for my work-in-progress, a romantic suspense, Numbers Never Lie.
Suggestions are very welcome on the blurb as well as the snippet. Please excuse the rogue commas.
Today's snippet immediately follows last week's, which ended chapter 1; this is the beginning of chapter two.
“What do you mean no toilets?” Drew
Campbell stopped on the dusty forest path, hooked his sunglasses on the placket
of his golf shirt, and stared at his daughter.
“Dad-dy,” Was Ellen only
fourteen? She did exasperation better than his administrative assistant, “I told you we were camping.”
Not for a moment would Drew
reveal that camping was not what he
remembered her saying a week ago—she said she wanted him to come along on an
outing with her little group of friends, and he figured a hike, picnic lunch, then
home for supper.
He got a big surprise when he
opened the hatch of the Navigator and found five backpacks—five backpacks with
bedrolls—and he’d transported four
girls. It didn’t take a law degree to figure out who the fifth backpack was
for. He was in deep shit, but what could he say in front of Ellen and her
friends?
“Of course, sweetie, I knew
we were camping,” he lied.
“Yeah, right, Dad.”
Here's the tentative blurb:
A shocking secret brings danger to Jack Sinclair and his sister Maggie.
As kids, they were the fearless threesome. As adults, Jack's an accountant; Drew, a lawyer; Maggie, a teacher and camping troop leader. Returning from a weekend camping trip, Maggie receives horrifying news. She refuses to believe her brother’s fatal car crash was an accident. If the police won’t investigate, she’ll do it herself. Convincing Drew Campbell to help is her only recourse.
Drew Campbell was too busy to return his best friend’s phone call. Too busy to attend a camping meeting important to his teen daughter. Too busy to stay in touch with Jack. Logic and reason indicate Jack’s accident was just that--an accident caused by fatigue and fog. Prodded by guilt, he’ll help Maggie even if he thinks she’s wrong.
A break-in at Jack’s condo convinces Maggie she’s right. Then her home is searched. What did Jack leave behind?
Be sure to check out the other WeWriWa authors.
That is quite the surprise! I hope he likes bugs. LOL A great snippet! :)
ReplyDeleteNope. No bugs, either. Thanks, Jess.
DeleteOh dear, poor Drew. I like this line: "She did exasperation better than his administrative assistant." Rogue comma there, I take it, but it's still my fave line and made me chuckle.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely a rogue comma. Glad I brought some laughter this weekend.
DeleteIt's not just a camping trip, it's his daughter's sleepover. Double joy.
ReplyDeleteLOL, Ed. He's in for bigger surprises.
DeleteHe needs to pay more attention, clearly. This trip has disaster written all over it now! Enjoyed the excerpt, can't wait for more...
ReplyDeleteIt gets worse. LOL
DeleteI share his idea of camping. ;)
ReplyDeleteI hate to say it, but I do, too. I did the Girl Scout thing, camped with my daughter, etc. But give me a hotel any day.
DeleteThe part about five backpacks and bedrolls had me thinking about Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
ReplyDeleteLOL, Trin. Good one.
DeleteI assume he has experience in backpacking!
ReplyDeleteNone at all. He's in a world of hurt.
DeleteOh dear, a lesson to all dads - listen carefully to what your daughter tells you! Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteHe's learning the hard way. Poor guy.
DeleteYou've perfectly captured the joys of mismatched expectations! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ken. He's going to regret some choices he's made with Ellen.
DeletePoor Drew! I hope someone remembered to pack toilet paper and mosquito spray.
ReplyDeleteGood point. Ellen took care of his backpack.
DeleteLOL - does take a law degree to figure out he's been had by 4 girls.
ReplyDeleteTweeted.
Thanks, Daryl. Actually, just by his daughter. The rest are so grateful he could come (so they could go on the hike).
DeleteI loved this excerpt! What a great surprise for him - and not a good one I'm guessing.
ReplyDeleteHa. His dilemma resonated with me. Poor Drew.
LOL, Libby. The surprises continue.
DeleteEllen is tricky, isn't she? Not sure this is going to end well, though.
ReplyDeleteShe is, indeed. Drew will show his real character on the trip.
DeleteGreat excerpt! Dads definitely don't listen half the time, so it was amusing to see this pan out. Looking forward to hearing how the camping trip goes.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Bethany. He has (sort of) a good reason for only half listening. He just hasn't shared it with Ellen.
DeleteThat would be a shock to think you are going on an outing but you end up camping instead. Can’t wait to see how this all turns out.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Karen. Quite a shock for Drew.
DeleteA camping trip with four teenage girls? Not thank you. Love the tricky way Ellen must've worded it all, though.
ReplyDeleteIf he hadn't gone, no trip. He only had 1/2 the girls. Maggie had the other 4. Better or worse than 4? Not sure I would've wanted to be on that trip, but Maggie loves it.
Delete