Pages

Saturday, May 16, 2020

#WeWriWa ~ THE SPY: Nice Disguise

Each weekend, the Weekend Writing Warriors share an 8 - 10 sentence snippet. Be sure to visit the other authors. You can find them here.

I'm sharing snippets from The Spy: An Outer Rim Novel. It's the 4th book in my series featuring strong women on the frontier of space. 

Because this is a work in progress, suggestions are greatly appreciated. Please excuse the creative punctuation, necessary to keep this within the guidelines. The chatty "taxi" driver with the loud "Hawaiian" shirt is back, and he caught up with Genna outside headquarters. Last week, he talked her into getting into his conveyance. The last sentence was:  With pursed lips and narrowed eyes, Genna yanked the door open and slid inside, “Are you satisfied?”

He turned slightly and winked. “Yeah. Ready for Mid-Day Repast?” He named a popular eatery near spaceport. “I know it’s a little late but . . .”
“No, thank you, I’m not hungry.”
As the conveyance rose above the buildings, her stomach betrayed her. Its growling reminded her she’d missed Mid-Day Repast, and First Meal had consisted of half a protein bar. Being called to headquarters had twisted her stomach into knots in anticipation. She’d thought it best not to have much in her stomach, hurling in front of her superior would’ve made quite an impression.
The driver glanced back at her and smirked, “Somebody’s hungry.”


That's the snippet. Here's the rest of that scene.

“Nice disguise. Was it for my benefit?”
“Your ego is overwhelming.” She paused. “How did you find me?”
“The card I gave you.”
“I threw that away. Try again.”
“You threw it away?” He clasped his chest. “I’m crushed. Truly, crushed.”
“Oh, for the Matriarch’s sake.”
He twisted around. “See. I knew you were Traishan.”
“What?”
“Traishans worship a fem deity, the Matriarch. I kinda like that. Too many cultures have paternalistic deities. As for finding you, I have my ways, Rimmer Girl.”

Now, how did he find her?

I haven't posted the blurb (draft) in a while, so here it is:



Rookie agent must rescue veteran before his cover is blown.

Genna Nogaro, new to the Coalition of Planets’ Intelligence Commission, is assigned to bring in an undercover operative in Hallart’s organization. More experienced agents died before getting him out. Were they killed by the intergalactic gangster or has the operative gone rogue?

Quintall d’Sernin, con man extraordinaire, infiltrated the mob and moved up to be the gangster’s right-hand man. Hallart has his tentacles throughout the Coalition—business, industry, and government. Quin’s finally worked himself into a valued position. All he needs is the key to mob structure in order for Coalition forces to take down the entire organization.

Genna will pose as a new recruit to distract Hallart long enough for Quin to find the key. If they work together, they can accomplish more. But Quin and Genna’s lives are jeopardized by a mole in the Intelligence Commission. Will their true roles be revealed before they accomplish their goal?


Hope you are all staying safe. We had a special treat last Sunday when our son backed his mini-van into our driveway and the whole family climbed in back (tailgate open) while Hubs and I sat in our garage (out of the rain) and visited with the family. So good to see the twins (2 1/2 yrs old) and their 5-yr-old sister. A great Mother's Day gift.





27 comments:

  1. The taxi driver is a fun character to read about, but I would have to throw him out and drive the cab myself if I encountered him in real life! I've known guys like that. Every one of them made me see red.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL He's adding a bit of comic relief after the intensity of the Commissioner's mission for Genna.

      Delete
  2. Not only how did he find her, but what does he want? I don't think it's just a fare he's looking for.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You've built this taxi driver into a major mystery. How does he do things like find her? Why does he care about her at all?

    ReplyDelete
  4. As always, nice banter, Di! If you want suggestions, you know what a stickler for repetition I am. Repeating the word "stomach" three times in one paragraph has mine in knots. Lecture over. Great "seeing you" yesterday!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for pointing that out, Nancy. Your comments (and others') help me more than you can imagine. Yes, great seeing you at our chapter meeting via Zoom.

      Delete
  5. Yes - hurling in front of the boss is never a good thing.
    Tweeted.

    ReplyDelete
  6. What a twist! I like it. How does he know she's a rimmer girl??? Write faster, Diane!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, I know. She'll ask him next time (I think).

      Delete
  7. I really like this cab driver and I'm still harboring my suspicions where he's concerned, which makes it extra fun to read each new snippet. I feel her hunger too LOL. Excellent excerpt!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Seems he knows more than he should. Not sure it was a wise move to get in the cab!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Well at least he's opening up a bit. I wonder how he's going to explain himself? Like Veronica said, write faster!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL. I'm trying. Wrote myself into a corner and need to figure out how to get out.

      Delete
  10. Love the dialogue! I'm really enjoying this story. It's hard to predict what's going to happen, so kudos to you! :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. He knows too much... but it seems like cabbies are those characters (like bartenders) who seem to be way too observant and open to hearing secrets than most.Great snippet, can't wait to see how this meal goes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so right--like a bartender. They also keep secrets.

      Delete
  12. The taxi driver is a great character! Colorful, chatty, and mysterious. What is his real purpose, though? He does seem to know a lot, including how to find her. Great job keeping us guessing, Diane!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I really like the snarky taxi driver. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. The taxi driver does seem to turn up on a regular basis. What does he want?

    ReplyDelete
  15. I really hope this cabbie is a good guy. I like this character. As do many of your commenters. We shall see. Great writing.

    ReplyDelete

Love getting your comments. BTW, your comment won't show up until you refresh the page. Isn't that a pain? Thanks for stopping by.