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Saturday, November 26, 2016

#WeWriWa #8Sunday - Bygone Brother


Welcome to Weekend Writing Warrior and 8 Sentence Sunday, the weekly hop for everyone who loves to write! Writers share an 8 to10 sentence snippet. Be sure to visit the other writers. You can find them here.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. I'm continuing with a snippet from my PI mystery, The Case of the Bygone Brother, a contemporary cozy, that takes place in a small Lake Michigan resort town. Alex (Alexandra) O'Hara has taken over her dad's investigation agency, struggling to keep it going.  This snippet picks up with the older client in Alex's office.

When Mrs. Yoder finally took the visitor’s chair, I breathed a silent prayer of thanks. She was convinced her husband was running around on her—no wonder she nearly bolted out the door. Her perception of Nick and me playing hanky-panky in the office must have been a painful reminder of what she thought her husband was doing.

“Can you check the bank and credit card statements?” I asked.

“That seems so . . . underhanded, like I don’t trust him.”

I gave her a long look until she said, “I guess I don’t trust him if I’m coming to you.”

“What time does he leave so I can follow him?”

“F-Follow him?”

What? Did she think I’d look into my crystal ball and ‘see’ her husband fooling around?



Alex O’Hara finally gets a case that will give her bottom line a much needed boost. She might even be able to change her diet from ramen noodles to prime rib. All she has to do is track down a man who’s been missing for over ten years. Piece of cake . . . until an old flame arrives and a mugger roughs her up with orders to back off.

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43 comments:

  1. Loved this book! Can't wait for the next Alex O'Hara story.

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  2. Great excerpt, Diane! Love cozy mysteries!

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  3. Great excerpt!
    Good luck and God's blessings
    PamT

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  4. Ha, excellent excerpt! Love this series and ready for the third installment! :) Best wishes!

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  5. LOL I love Alex's personality! Fabulous snippet! :)

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  6. Replies
    1. Thanks, Marissa. It's easy to show my voice in 1st person POV.

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  7. The client's naivete is endearing. She has a great voice, and Alex's interior voice is also perfect for a (sort-of) tough P.I.

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    1. Thanks, Ed. I've known so many women whose husbands handle all the financial details, and the women don't have a clue. So sad.

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  8. I love the client's hesitancy. Something like this would be very much out of her comfort zone. I wonder what he husband's been doing to make her think he's cheating? Great snippet!

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    1. Thanks, Jenna. Poor woman. Suspicions (without proof) can damage a relationship.

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  9. Excellent snippet, Diane. I have my suspicions about this client. Looking forward to watching her story unravel.

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  10. Excellent snippet, Diane. I have my suspicions about this client. Looking forward to watching her story unravel.

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  11. Haha love that last line. If only it were that simple! ;)

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  12. Trust goes both ways, doesn't it? If you ask shifty, your significant other at some point has to say 'enough' and start digging. That last line made me smile. :)

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  13. She hasn't quite accepted it then, I guess. What a bummer.

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  14. Doesn't sound like this would-be client has quite come to terms with what would be involved. Interesting. Enjoyed the snippet!

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    1. No, she hasn't. She wants to know, but she doesn't. Quite a dilemma.

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  15. LOL...she's leery of coming off like she doesn't trust the guy when she's hiring someone to investigate! Love this snippet. :)

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  16. Lol. This is cute. I can imagine a client just like that.

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  17. She wants to know, but she doesn't want to know - the dilemma of a woman who thinks her husband is cheating on her. Great snippet.

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  18. This client doesn't sound like she realized what she was asking. I agree with Rachel. She isn't sure she wants to know.

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  19. I love this snippet and the conflict it raises. Great dialogue.

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  20. Love the crystal ball statement. lol How else would she know indeed.

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  21. I love this snippet and the questions raised

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