Each weekend the Weekend Writing Warriors share an 8 - 10 sentence snippet. Be sure to visit the other authors. You can find them here.
I'm sharing a new story, a Middle Grade/YA science fiction adventure, titled Rescuing Mara's Father. It's a work in progress (though it's with my editor), so suggestions would be great. The narrator is Mara, an almost 15-year-old girl. The scene is class in Teacher's study in a mining outpost on the Outer Rim. This snippet takes place immediately after last week's, which ended with Mara saying, "The Central Planets with their Coalition are light years away, besides they don’t care about us. Why should we learn about them or how they rule? All we have to know is who’s in charge here, and that’s the mining company.”
Please excuse the creative punctuation, necessary to keep this within the guidelines. It's also edited from the original.
I sit quickly,
surprised at my own outburst, not as surprised as the rest of the class, let alone
Teacher. He gives me a look that says I’m going to hear about this later. I am
so glad I only have one more month of this. At Pamyria Tech, I won’t have to
learn useless information about the Coalition and especially about Compara—I’ll
learn important stuff about starship engines. One more month, just one more
month, and I am gone.
“Teacher?”
I shift around
in my chair to look at Jako, who never voluntarily speaks during class—unlike
his brother, Lukus-Know-It-All—and he’s even standing, “Why do we have to learn
stuff we’ll never use? Manager says we don’t need to know more than to read and
write Arthos.”
In linguistics
class, we learned that Arthos, the language used throughout the Rim, is a
combination of the home languages of the early explorers. Besides learning how
to read and write in Arthos, we’re learning to speak Tumie, the language of the
desert nomads—practical stuff, not useless information about planets we’ll
never have contact with.
Blurb:
Her father is gone! Taken by the Queen of Compara’s agents. Mara has to rescue him before the Queen tortures and kills him.
Instead of the kind, loving father she’s always known, he’s become demanding, critical, with impossible expectations—not just as Father but also as the only teacher in their frontier outpost. Mara would rather scoop zircan poop than listen to another boring lecture about governments on Central Planets. Give her a starship engine to take apart or, better yet, fly, and she’s happy. Now, he's gone.
Never mind, they’ve had a rocky road lately.
Never mind, Father promised she could go off planet to Tech Institute next month when she turns fifteen, where she’ll learn to fly starships.
Never mind, she ran away because she’s furious with him because he reneged on that promise. Father is her only parent. She has to save him.
Along with her best friend, eleven-year-old Jako, and his brother 15-year-old Lukus, Mara sets off to find her father. An old spaceport mechanic and her mentor seems to know why the Queen captured Father. In fact, he seems to know her father well. But, does he tell her everything? Of course not. He dribbles out info like a mush-eating baby. Worse, he indicates he’ll be leaving then soon. And Lukus can’t wait to get off our planet. Mara’s afraid they will all leave her, and she’ll be on her own. Despite her fears, she has to rescue her father.
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Very, very intriguing! I have a feeling this next month may seem to last forever unless something happens. And one never knows when they might need supposedly useless information. Looking forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jess. Yep, that month won't pass quickly enough.
Delete:-) I read this with a smile on my face. Yep. She'll hear about it later, indeed!
ReplyDeleteWONDERFUL book!
Thanks, Teresa.
DeleteSo, is she stirring a bit of rebellion in the classroom?
ReplyDeleteA bit. LOL
DeleteFascinating, Diane. You have captured a remarkable scene.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Charmaine.
DeleteMethinks all this 'useless' information will come in handy later! Oh the agonies of the classroom spotlight!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it funny (ironic) how we can remember those days so vividly?
DeleteHmm, what's prompted him to ask such a bold question all of a sudden? Wanting to show support for Mara, maybe?
ReplyDeleteSupport, yes. Other reasons, too.
DeleteI'll be fascinated to hear what the teacher says in answer to these questions. Enjoyed the excerpt!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Veronica.
DeleteThe thing about education is you don't always know which parts you'll need! LOL
ReplyDeleteIsn't that the truth!
DeleteSo true. outstanding snipit
ReplyDeleteThanks, Charmaine.
DeleteThis class is definitely not going as the teacher planned haha
ReplyDeleteSure isn't, Amy.
DeleteI'm always impressed when writers invent their own languages. That takes a lot of work!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Nick. The trick is being consistent. LOL
DeleteBingo, Karen.
ReplyDeleteDon't you hate it when you forget to add your link. :)
This is all great foreshadowing of things to come. For now, I wonder what Teacher will have to say.
ReplyDeleteThat will be interesting, Alexis. :)
DeleteI get the feeling it's not going to be useless information after all, but she's so gonna hear about it from him later.
ReplyDeleteOh, she will. Thanks, Aldrea.
Delete