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Saturday, February 9, 2019

#WeWriWa: RESCUING MARA'S FATHER - Might Makes Right #MGsf


Each weekend the Weekend Writing Warriors share an 8 - 10 sentence snippet. Be sure to visit the other authors. You can find them here.

First, I need to apologize for missing last week. After a week of Polar Vortex and being literally snowed in (we couldn't get out of our driveway, let alone out of our subdivision), we beat it down to Gulf Shores, AL for some needed sun and warmth. I'm sorry to say I forgot to post for Weekend Writing Warriors.


I'm sharing a new story, a Middle Grade/YA science fiction adventure, titled Rescuing Mara's Father. It's a work in progress (though it's with my editor), so suggestions would be great. The narrator is Mara, an almost 15-year-old girl. The scene is class in Teacher's study in a mining outpost on the Outer Rim.

Please excuse the creative punctuation, necessary to keep this within the guidelines. It's also edited from the original.

The rest of us sit back in relief as Lukus has Teacher’s attention, which is just fine, “The ideal form of government is one where all the inhabitants have a voice and are treated equally.”
I snort then mutter, “Like that’s ever going to happen.”
Jako kicks my chair and hisses at me to shut up.
Teacher pins me with his stare, “Mara, you have something to add?”
“I can explain what Mara means,” Lukus says—he’s still standing and according to class protocol, I shouldn’t have spoken, “Civilizations strive for the ideal, however—”
“I can do my own explaining,” I ignore class rules and stand without waiting for Lukus to sit, “Out here on the Rim, the only thing that matters is who’s rich enough or strong enough to rule—might makes right. The Central Planets with their Coalition are light years away, besides they don’t care about us. Why should we learn about them or how they rule? All we have to know is who’s in charge here, and that’s the mining company.”




Blurb:


Her father is gone! Taken by the Queen of Compara’s agents. Mara has to rescue him before the Queen tortures and kills him.
Instead of the kind, loving father she’s always known, he’s become demanding, critical, with impossible expectations—not just as Father but also as the only teacher in their frontier outpost. Mara would rather scoop zircan poop than listen to another boring lecture about governments on Central Planets. Give her a starship engine to take apart or, better yet, fly, and she’s happy. Now, he's gone.
Never mind, they’ve had a rocky road lately. 
Never mind, Father promised she could go off planet to Tech Institute next month when she turns fifteen, where she’ll learn to fly starships.
Never mind, she ran away because she’s furious with him because he reneged on that promise. Father is her only parent. She has to save him.
Along with her best friend, eleven-year-old Jako, and his brother 15-year-old Lukus, Mara sets off to find her father. An old spaceport mechanic and her mentor seems to know why the Queen captured Father. In fact, he seems to know her father well. But, does he tell her everything? Of course not. He dribbles out info like a mush-eating baby. Worse, he indicates he’ll be leaving then soon. And Lukus can’t wait to get off our planet. Mara’s afraid they will all leave her, and she’ll be on her own. Despite her fears, she has to rescue her father.

27 comments:

  1. I love that Mara tells how things really are. Though I don't think their teacher will appreciate her thoughts.

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  2. speaking such truths, especially to an authority figure, is brave and rather dangerous. Good luck, girl!

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    1. She doesn't watch her tongue. She's going to hear about that.

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  3. Well said! To be honest, that's pretty much the way things are in "democracies" here too so nothing much has changed. I wonder how the teacher will respond to evident but unpopular facts?

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    1. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Thanks, Ian.

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  4. I'm glad this is with the editor. I want to get my 11 year old granddaughter a copy when it's published. -)

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    1. I'd love to hear what she says. So, we both have 11-yr-old granddaughters. Cool.

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  5. Speaking as a Canadian who's province has been hit by that same vortex, I can tell you we're having no picnic up here and missing a weekend to stay warm is totally justified. And great world building for this post! Also, I forgot to change the time on my post, but it's live now!

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    1. I hope you're thawing out a little bit now, Amy. After a week in the sun, we're back to another winter storm. Oh, well...winter.

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  6. She really tells it like it is. I wonder what Teacher's response will be?

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    1. She knows she's going to hear about what she said. Sometimes, she speaks without thinking.

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  7. Terrific writing-exciting all the way!

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  8. Her words certainly highlight the world she lives in, or at least the problems she sees.

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    1. That's how she sees her tiny world (an outpost on the edge of space).

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  9. Well she certainly speaks out bravely, although I have a feeling trouble will surely follow...enjoyed the snippet! I like this character a LOT.

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    1. I'm so glad you like her, Veronica. I wish I'd had her gumption when I was 14. LOL

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  10. This is short but throws up some intriguing questions about what's going on in this world. Great stuff!

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    1. Thanks so much, Nick. I hope readers will keep turning the page.

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  11. Hi Diane, I'm stopping by to say hi. And best wishes to D.M.Burton in 2019.

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    1. Thanks a lot, Stephen. I hope this story finds many readers.

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  12. Hey, congrats on the middle grade novel! Good luck with it!

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    1. Thanks, Alyssa. Maybe in a couple of years, Biscuit will enjoy it.

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  13. A rule breaker--I like her! She says what needs to be said.

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  14. I have nothing to add. Sounds great as it is.

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  15. I wonder what the teacher has to say.

    www.ficklemillennial.blogspot.com

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