Each weekend, the Weekend Writing Warriors share an 8 - 10 sentence snippet. Be sure to visit the other authors. You can find them here.
I'm sharing snippets from The Spy: An Outer Rim Novel. It's the 4th book in my series featuring strong women on the frontier of space.
Because this is a work in progress, suggestions are greatly appreciated. The chatty transport driver has brought her to a restaurant.
Unlike
most Chellians, the driver was slender. In the transport, his flowered shirt
had bloused out making him seem bigger. His hand on her waist contained
more strength than a man who sat all day transporting people should have.
“Is
this all right for you?” He waited outside a booth near the back of the eatery for her to be seated. Behind them, a sign for san-facs hung over the entrance to a narrow
hall, an exit sign beyond them. Good, a means of escape. CPIC
Training Lesson #3: always sit with your back to the wall; Lesson #4: memorize
all exits.
“We
can put your tote on the other bench,” He easily slipped it off her shoulder.
She slid
into the booth, then the Chellian slid in next to her, the corner of his mouth
lifted in a small grin.
“Excuse
me.” No way did she want to sit next to him. He disturbed her too much.
Besides, he prevented her quick escape.
“Problem?”
“I prefer
sitting alone.” She added a bit of Bricaldian hauteur to her tone.
“I prefer
sitting so I face the door.”
Startled,
she edged closer to the corner of the booth. “I do, too. But I can move.”
Fascinating. What happens next? my friend.
ReplyDeleteI guess you'll have to wait, Charmaine. :)
DeleteSuddenly I smell a large rat. Why would this guy sit right next to her when they are strangers? If I didn't already think something was up, I would now. Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteGood. Not smelling the rat, though. He's got her pinned in.
DeleteI love the little detail - Bricaldian hauteur - added. Gives it a high level of snottiness!
ReplyDeleteTweeted.
Thanks for tweeting, Daryl. Yeah, she's got that snottiness down pat.
DeleteSeems like there should have been a lesson about not letting people "easily" slip your tote away from you LOL. I'm enjoying her efforts to become a crack operative. Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteYou're right, Veronica. She should've hung onto it better.
DeleteI suspect he's had the same lessons.
ReplyDeleteLOL. Good one, Aurora.
DeleteI like the little details of both their intentions, and subtle power plays to control the movements of the other.
ReplyDeleteYep. Glad you saw that, Ian.
DeleteI hope he explains himself soon, because I'm really wanting her to punch him.
ReplyDeleteOoh, maybe she should. LOL
DeleteIs he a Chellian??? He's definitely not what he's trying to seem... Good writing!!
ReplyDeleteWho is this guy??? I'm so curious.
ReplyDeleteYet another bit of evidence, if any more were needed, that he's no ordinary cabbie.
ReplyDeleteShe's trying to incorporate her training but he seems to know all her tricks. As Ian stated, the subtle power play is great. You captured a lot of tension here.
ReplyDeleteI'm curious to know who this guy is. My husband has a thing about facing the door, too. Retired military. He wants to be able to see if there's trouble. I'm enjoying your snippets.
ReplyDeleteBirds of a feather. Love it!
ReplyDelete