Each weekend, the Weekend Writing Warriors share an 8 - 10 sentence snippet. Be sure to visit the other authors. You can find them here.
I'm sharing snippets from The Spy: An Outer Rim Novel. It's the 4th book in my series featuring strong women on the frontier of space.
Because this is a work in progress, suggestions are greatly appreciated. Because of your comments last week, I added this next section. By the way, I also changed the last sentence, which read: “TAM-247765, you are next in line for liftoff.”
“TAM-247765,
you are tenth in line to depart,” Space Flight Control informed her, along with
admonitions that even a newbie pilot knew.
Genna
shoved thoughts of the Chellian driver and her former boss out of her mind. She
had a mission. Excitement filled her, as it had in the commissioner’s office.
Her first mission. Find Quin d’Sernin.
And
bring him in.
Along
with the excitement came fear. Would she have to infiltrate Hallart’s gang? Did
she dare?
That was the snippet. Here's a bit more:
Maybe
she could find d’Sernin without encountering Hallart. She drummed her fingers
on the control panel.
“TAM-247765,
you are second in line to depart,” Space Flight Control announced. “Make your
way to the liftoff ring.”
Genna
taxied to the ring. Within mins, gravity slammed her back into her seat. The five-point
safety harness kept her from being thrown around the cockpit while blasting
through Bricaldia’s atmosphere. Tamerly’s ship handled the bumpy ride with little
jarring.
Somehow I don't think the mission will be as easy as her takeoff. Nice snippet!
ReplyDeleteI still think how I thought from the start -- there's something fishy about choosing a newbie for such a dangerous mission.
ReplyDeleteThis has a nice flow. I like how her thoughts are very smoothly interrupted by Flight Control, and then she gets right back to it.
ReplyDeleteTrouble ahead. Lol. You have me so curious about what happens next!
And . . . she's off on a great adventure!! Thanks for letting us fly with her, Di!
ReplyDeleteShe's so confident and excited. I can feel her enthusiasm for this job. I just hope it goes as well as she expects.
ReplyDeleteGee, she's so casual about taking off. given all her excitement over this new assignment! Loved the snippet...
ReplyDeleteI like the tension introduced by the countdown. She seems oblivious to the excitement of flight.
ReplyDeleteShe is a confident one as she takes off to find Quin d’Sernin. She is definitely embarking on an exciting adventure.
ReplyDeleteI really like how you added tension to this scene and also had your main character share her worries about her dangerous mission. Great job!
ReplyDeleteoh yes, she dared.
ReplyDeleteI liked the way you combined the momentum of take off and to remind us of her mission. It was seamless. Great snippet
ReplyDelete