Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, where writers share snippets from their work-in-progress or new release. Thank you to everyone who stopped by last week.
I'm sharing snippets from the 4th Alex O'Hara cozy mystery, The Case of the Wedding Wrecker. This immediately follows last week's snippet. Alex, her dad, and Todd just walked into the police station where she's confronted by Todd's mother. Last week's snippet ended with Todd's mother crying out, “They killed your father. The two of them.”
BTW, since this is a work in progress, suggestions are always welcome.
Snippet:
Deputy Jenny
Sampson gave me a sympathetic look. “Your family is inside, come.” She held the
barrier door open and waved us in.
When Todd followed
with his mother, the officer let them in, too. My heart went out to the kid. He
had no love loss for his stepfather, but he loved his mom. Since he came to
live with us back in March, he’d talked a lot about her. Mainly to Nick who
shared with me. Todd’s mother hadn’t been like this when his father was alive.
He said she was happy and took care of herself.
After his
father died in a car accident, she’d changed. Frightened, skittish, clingy.
Then, she married Mike Amerson and got worse. When Todd rescued Nick and me
from the Black Widower gang, I realized how observant he was. A caring teen.
That almost felt like an oxymoron, but it was true.
Maria spotted us
first and hurried over to us. “You poor dear.” She hugged me. “Tony called
Pieter Bogardus. He should be here soon.”
Pieter hadn’t
officially retired, but his son Hans had returned this summer to take over the
law practice. Pieter wasn’t a criminal lawyer. I knew since his office was next
to mine, and we did work for each other. Pieter’s specialty was family law. I
hadn’t paid as much attention as I should’ve when he talked about his son. I
hoped to God Hans had experience with criminal law.
“Where is
Nick?” I demanded. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell.”
When Tony
patted my shoulder, his hand shook. “That effing Dawson locked him in a cell.
Wouldn’t let us talk to him.”
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The oxymoron part pulled me out of the story. Most of the teens I know care far more than a lot of the adults I know.
ReplyDeleteBut I do like the background info on these characters. And Alex seems scattered, as I would expect her to be in this situation.
Glad you pointed out the oxymoron thing. Thanks, Jess. Alex's mind is going 90 mph and in all directions.
DeleteYou always know how to stir up a good batch of trouble and confusion in your characters, who at this point don't know which way is up. Love this story, Di!
ReplyDeleteMe, stirring up trouble? LOL Glad you're enjoying the story. It's coming along nicely for me.
DeleteEnjoyed the snippet and the way you slid in a bit of backstory and gave us a new character to think about, in this lawyer we haven't met yet. Smoothly done!
ReplyDeleteI dislike info dumps that go on for a page or two or three. LOL I tried to sneak in a little bit of backstory. Thanks.
DeleteUh h. They can't even talk to him??? I smell a rat...
ReplyDeleteGood snippet!
LOL, Teresa.
DeleteIt's a complex scene with a little insight into Todd's mom's behavior and the old lawyer.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Aurora.
DeleteSo many people who need help at the moment! I hope Alex can cover all the bases and not get lost in the midst of it herself. Great snippet! Tweeted.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jenna. Good insight into the situation.
Delete