Cuddling

November is here with all its gray skies and gloomy weather. We’ll be treated to a tease of sunshine, then the nastiness will start up again.

That aside, I’m still doing the happy dance (did you feel the thudding?) over the additions to our family. If you followed my link to TheRoses of Prose last Monday, then you know the twins came a week ago Saturday. Four weeks early, yet one weighed in at a whopping eight pounds and the other almost six. As a commenter pointed out, that was a lot of baby (almost 14 pounds) to carry. No wonder Daughter-in-law was so uncomfortable.

At first the babies were fine. Then the larger one developed what the doctors thought was a bowel problem. They rushed him to the children’s hospital about an hour away. Although not pooping could’ve been the sign of a more serious problem/disease, the multitude of tests assured us it wasn’t. In fact, once he was there he did what was necessary. Amazing how we all cheered over pooping. LOL

A large problem then set in. Two babies, an hour apart. Son went to the children’s hospital while DIL had to stay here at our local hospital with the smaller one. Her boys were too far apart. The hospitals had two different rules about who can hold the babies. Our local hospital would only let the parents, while the children’s hospital was more lenient. That meant Hubs and I got to hold the bigger boy but not his brother. Still, I had the privilege of giving him his first bottle. On Halloween. Plus, he opened his beautiful eyes and looked at me. I’m such a sucker for big eyes. 😊

Once DIL was released from the hospital, she could visit the bigger boy. But it meant someone had to take her because she wasn’t allowed to drive yet. Between Son and us, we got her there and back for the smaller baby. Again because of their more relaxed rules, Toddler Girl got to hold her brother at the children’s hospital. DIL recorded her reaction over “examining” the baby. So precious. She pulled away his blanket to see his toes. “What’s that?” she asked about so many things, from the monitor on his foot to his tiny diaper and navel.

On Friday, the most amazing thing happened. The bigger boy was transported back to our local hospital. The twins were together again.

We don’t know what goes on in the minds of infants. After being together in the womb for eight months, did they realize they were separated? My imagination says yes. When DIL held them together the day after birth, their tiny hands touched. Five days later, when reunited and again held against Mom’s chest, their fingers touched again. I have to think they knew they were together again.

Babies fascinate me. When I was growing up, there was always a baby in the house. Or so it seemed. I’m the oldest of seven. My youngest brother was born when I was fifteen. Even as a youngster myself, I helped Mom. Rocking the bassinet or holding a bottle. I graduated to changing diapers, the cloth kind back then. I learned early on how to hold a baby, how to feed him/her a bottle, how to burp afterward.

You’d think after so much responsibility at a young age I wouldn’t want children. Not so. I couldn’t wait until my own were born. I also couldn’t wait until they were old enough to talk and walk. Consequently, I didn’t appreciate the value of cuddling an infant. I’ve been making up for that for the past ten years. When cuddling a baby, all else disappears. Worries, frustrations, everyday stuff. I relax and enjoy the “now” with that tiny body against mine.

I can’t wait until those boys come home so I can get more cuddling in.

Writing Life While On Vacation

Once upon a time, I had a writing schedule. Get up, grab a cup of coffee, check email, get another cup of coffee, then time to write. When I stick to the schedule, I can turn out 1,000 - 2,000 words before lunch. But notice the beginning of that sentence--when I stick to the schedule.

We've been visiting our son and his family for almost 3 weeks now. We're on vacation. Sort of. It's wonderful leaving the snow and cold of Michigan for warm sunshine. Except. According to family back home, Michigan weather has been mild--up into the 60s, even. While here in Arizona, it rained all weekend with a high of 57. Today is much nicer. The sun is out, though it might make it to 70. Walking around outdoors is great.

But I'm not writing.

We all were down with colds for the first 2 weeks. Having a muzzy head (from decongestants) and being plain tired meant no writing. We're just starting to feel like doing something. Now I'm content to stay home (son's home) and relax. Maybe hang out with Toddler Girl. Frankly, it's more fun reading to her and/or playing with toys than anything else. What she likes best is sitting next to me (or on my lap) and looking at pictures of her and her Michigan cousins. She gets all excited and points to them, as well as herself.

But I'm not writing.

OdySea Aquarium, Scottsdale, AZ

We went to an aquarium yesterday and, boy, did she have fun. The fish, sharks, and sea lions fascinated her. But she has a short attention span. Not surprising for a 22-month-old. According to our DIL, the attention span was longer than time than the last. They have a real racket there, You have to exit through the gift shop. Somehow a stuffed penguin jumped into our shopping cart. She named him Happy. And that's what she is most of the time. Happy!


So my writing hasn't gone very far. I thought I'd be finished with Meddling Mama by now. As you can tell from the progress meter on the right, I'm so close to the end.

But...

I can write when I'm home. I can't play with Toddler Girl at home. Not until July when they come. Our time together is so short. How can I squander it on writing? As I wrote last week, I want her to remember me as the grandmother who played and read to her. Not the grandmother who was too busy writing.

Tomorrow is Hubs' birthday. It's hard to believe we've been together over 44 years. He's been a terrific husband, father, and grandfather. More importantly, he's still my best friend.

Happy Birthday, sweetie.

Babies and Grandmothers

I have fond memories of my grandmother. She lived 500 miles away and didn't visit too often. In my teens and twenties, I visited her and thought she was a hoot. She played cards with her lady friends and taught me to play poker and Crazy Eights. She took me to my first baseball game (St. Louis Cardinals) and jumped the light to make a left turn before opposing cars could go. I learned the term "kangaroo court" from her during a trip from our house to hers. I wished I'd known her better. She died at 69, and I was 27. I still wish she'd lived long enough to see my children and husband and that they had gotten to know her.

Hubs and I moved three years ago to be close to our only (at the time) grandchildren. I wanted them to get to know us. I wanted to go to Grandparents' Day at their school and go to their dance recitals or flag football games. We've done all that and more. We have them spend the night while their parents have "date night." And when they have a snow day and their parents have to work, we welcome them to spend the day with us. I found a wonderful website (My StoryMaker from Carnegie Public Library) that lets me share my love of writing and reading with them.

My son lives over 2,000 miles away and has a lovely daughter. Now we're the grandparents who live far away. Though she's still a toddler and our daughter-in-law sends daily pictures and videos, it's not like we get to see her in person. FaceTime is great, still not the same. Visiting for a month helps. Her happy face when she sees us just warms my heart. She runs up to us, grinning, and lifts her arms to be picked up. I can't resist. I'm mush. She's almost two and her favorite word is--you guessed it--no.

I love watching my son with her. She's got him wrapped around her finger. (Not saying she doesn't have Hubs and me around her other fingers.) Her other grandparents live close. They babysit when needed and get to see her often. Although we're here now, we'll have to leave her and go home. For now, I'll read to her before nap, or whenever, I'll rock her as long as she lets me. I'll enjoy the time we're here and eagerly await her visit in the summer. Maybe we can come back sooner???

The most important thing is I hope she'll grow up having fond memories of Hubs and me.

Surprises & Discoveries

I found out some wonderful things over the past few weeks.

Discovery #1: when it comes to grandchildren, I am such a softie. (Not exactly a big surprise.) In interviews, I’ve repeatedly mentioned that not much can tear me away from my writing except my grandchildren. Too true. I love playing with the kiddies ages 6 and 8½. We write stories (they talk, I type); we play cards and board games. When they play dress-up in old clothes and stage “plays” Hubs and I are their captive audience. I read bedtime stories (the same I read to their mother and uncle), we watch movies together, and sometimes we just talk.

What I’d (sort of) forgotten was their younger years—when they couldn’t talk but could still

communicate. Was that ever brought home while we visited with our son and his family. Baby Girl is now nine months old and can she communicate. LOL She chatters and I wonder what she’s saying/thinking. I’m not sure which is the best—her contagious smiles or the way she lifts up her arms to be picked up with a grin that melts my heart. Or maybe it’s the way she snuggles in, so trustingly. Or the way . . . Well, I’m sure you can tell I’m smitten.

Let me tell you how this came about. We went to Arizona to celebrate Christmas with our son’s family.

Discovery #2: we have a very smart son. Smart enough to give us THE most wonderful daughter-in-law. All right, I already knew she was terrific, even before he married her. But who would insist that her in-laws stay with them . . . for SIX weeks? Granted, she and Son work outside the home, and Baby Girl goes to daycare. However, Son works at a restaurant with godawful hours. Like leaving home at 6:30 am and returning around 9 pm. So even though DIL goes to work, she’s home evenings—with her in-laws! Every evening and on the weekends!!! What a sweetheart she is to make us feel comfortable—not like company.

Side note: prior to leaving for Arizona, Hubs and I tried to find a place to rent. Son & DIL wanted us to stay with them. Repeatedly, we said we didn’t want to impose. Repeatedly, they said they wanted us to stay with them. We caved. Before we left home, though, we decided we’d take 2- or 3-day trips to give all of us space. DIL and I agreed we’d make a schedule for cooking dinner. Hubs and I figured we’d find other ways to help out, too.

What happened was surprising. During our brief trip to San Diego, I really missed them. And they missed us, too. A lot. No meal-planning schedule was necessary. We fell into a natural rhythm.

Discovery #3: DIL and I are not only so much alike, we are good friends. How rare is that? She made things so easy for us. We’ve stayed with her and Son in the past—once, before they even became engaged and back in April after Baby Girl arrived. Each time, DIL made us feel welcome. No, it felt like we were at home. How great is that?

I tried to keep to my old routine of writing in the mornings, or at least reading/answering email. But when DIL came into the family room, saying “Who wants her?” I had to trample over Hubs to take Baby Girl. Not all the time. Okay, most of the time. I think I set a world record for how fast I could make my computer disappear.

We got to see several of Baby Girl’s “firsts” while we were there. She crawled for the first time. What a whiz! Her first tooth came in (along with a second). She’s feeding herself. Granted, it’s so messy Hubs wanted to take her outside to hose her off, especially after yogurt and fruit. Like he did for our kids, he taught her the old camp song “I’m bringing home a baby bumble bee” and she repeated the motions, often. I played “Pat-A-Cake” to big smiles and giggles.

I’m not enamored with her, mind you.

My best discovery was that I didn’t miss writing. I did have posts to write—for this blog as well as guest posts and my regular contributions to The Roses of Prose and Paranormal Romantics, which are way different from writing a novel.

Now that I’m home again, it’s back to work. The third book in the Alex O’Hara PI series has percolated in my mind long enough. Time to get those ideas into the computer.