Holidays, Vacations, and Trouble

What do holidays and vacations have in common? Among other things, rushing around ahead of time. Instead of happily anticipating a vacation, we run around making sure we have everything we need or must do ahead of time—buy miniature toiletries and new clothes, cancel the newspaper, stop the mail, etc., etc., etc.

Christmas should be a time of joy and remembrance of the reason to celebrate. Instead, we are consumed by what we have to do. We have to buy presents for our loved ones—oh, and don’t forget that gift for the office exchange. We have to bake cookies. We have to clean. We have to decorate our houses. We have to send out cards. We drive ourselves crazy trying to remember what we’ve forgotten.

Along with all that rushing around comes trouble. Several years ago, while thinking about what I still needed to do before a vacation, I didn’t see a curb, tripped, and fell to my knees on the sidewalk. Ouch. That shook me up enough to make me slow down. In anticipation of driving to our sister’s for Christmas one year, my other sister hurriedly walked her dog, slipped on ice, and broke her wrist. People have car accidents because they’re thinking about something else and not paying attention.

There’s the crux of the problem. Not paying attention. You would think that after falling (or nearly falling) I would be more careful. I am. Usually. With the first big (no, make that BIG) snow of the season, I’m cautious as I walk outside. No rushing for me. So what did I do? I tripped in my own house over something I should have put away and slammed into a curio cabinet. I didn’t fall, thank goodness, but my upper arm sports a huge bruise.

From the above anecdotes, you might think what a klutz. And you’d be right. I was never graceful, even in my younger days. Although I try to be more cautious, I don’t always pay attention—like the time a couple of us left book group, talking, and I missed a step and landed on my hip. Good thing I have lots of padding there.  LOL

My advice—to you and, especially to myself—is to slow down. And all those things that you have to do? The world will not come to an end if you don’t do them. Don’t stress over what you haven’t done. Relax. Enjoy the season. Don’t get so wrapped up in the rush. Be careful. Remember why we celebrate. 

Stress #IWSG

Happy 1st Wednesday in November. It’s time for Insecure Writers Support Group. The purpose is to share and encourage. We can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

A big THANKS to Ninja Captain Alex J. Cavanaugh for starting this group and keeping it going. And thanks to this month's awesome hosts LG Keltner, Donna Hole, Lisa Buie-Collard and SL Hennessy!

Like many months, October had its ups and downs. What else is new? Stress came in many forms. Some I imposed on myself, like meeting the deadline to release my next book. Other stressors came from health issues. Getting old(er) isn’t for sissies. But it beats the alternative, as my father-in-law always said each time he went for dialysis.

I did mention “ups”, didn’t I? Those of us (of a certain age) remember when we had to go to the doctor to tell us we were pregnant. And remember when you had to wait until the baby was born to know his/her sex? Things certainly have changed. Now you can buy a box, the insides of which can tell you if you're pregnant right away. Not me, thank goodness. That would be a medical miracle. LOL My son and new daughter-in-law called after their third box—just to make sure the result of the first one was right. As if that wasn’t thrilling enough, they’ve sent ultrasound photos and, last week, an audio text message (is that a contradiction in terms?) of the baby’s heartbeat. Now that is a medical miracle. What a de-stressor. My newest granddaughter will make her appearance in May.

When I let the stress of everyday life or my writing career start to get to me, I’ll play that heartbeat and remember what’s really important. Life, family.

Speaking of my writing career, I did meet my deadline and my first PI mystery was released on October 30^th. The Case of the Bygone Brother is a slight departure for me. I usually write science fiction romance and romantic suspense. Trying a new genre was a lot of fun.

Blurb:

After taking over O’Hara & Palzetti, Confidential Investigations from her dad and his partner, Alex O’Hara’s bottom line has taken a plunge. So when a femme fatale offers her the case of a lifetime along with a huge advance, Alex sees her finances on a definite upswing. But someone doesn’t want her to find the long-lost brother. Complicating matters is the return of Alex’s old heartthrob, Nick Palzetti. Is he really there just to see her or does he have an ulterior motive? The Lake Michigan resort town of Fair Haven is abuzz with the news that O’Hara & Palzetti are together again.

Amazon: http://amzn.com/B00P1GPR0Q

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/489085

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/nz/book/case-bygone-brother-alex-ohara/id935501248?mt=11

Click here to find others on the Insecure Writers Support Group Blog Hop. Or go to IWSG on Facebook to see who’s blogging today.

Christmas Traditions

Like many of my Christmas traditions that are almost always late, so is this blog post. Not only did I have a hard time trying to come up with a post, my critique partner and I decided not to brave the weather and/or road conditions to meet in person. Instead we "met" on the phone. Since neither of us are short-winded (LOL) the phone call went on quite long.

Back to traditions. Despite all the chaos and hectic activities surrounding holidays--especially, Christmas--one of the things I love are the traditions. The things we "always" do over the holidays are a source of comfort. I know what to do. I don't have to flounder around trying to figure out what to do next. My problem is procrastination. Rather the sense that I have lots of time to get things done. Things like decorating the tree and the house, writing our Christmas letter and sending out cards, buying and wrapping gifts, baking cookies. Suddenly I realize time is running short and I'm frantic.

When I was younger, I worked myself into a frenzy to get "everything" done. I made my family, and myself, miserable. While Hubs wrapped the kids' gifts, there were some Christmas Eves I was baking cookies because we HAD to have cookies. Eventually, that was one of the traditions I let go to save myself some stress. The years we visited our daughter & her family when they lived in Indianapolis, I barely decorated, letting go more stress. Even though it took time and expense, we always got out Christmas cards. Some years, people received them after Christmas. Oh well, I rationalized, our family & friends were more relaxed then and could enjoy our messages.

In my stress and frenzy, I often forgot why I was doing all the things that I did. We went to church, but that was just one more thing to check off the list. I know better. Instead of celebrating what Christmas is all about, I let myself get trapped by "traditions" that had nothing to do with the true meaning. Maybe as we get older, we sort out our priorities. We realize what's important and take time to enjoy the process instead of practically killing ourselves to achieve the results.

This year, I baked cookies with my grandchildren. We did it to have fun. They didn't care that I hadn't made the dough by hand and bought the refrigerated kind that you pull apart. They had fun and so did I. Yesterday, they came over to celebrate daughter's birthday. Some decorations were up, most not, and it didn't bother me. I loved watching the six-year-old taking apart the nesting dolls and spreading them out and the almost-four-year-old captivation by a toy train that played music. The kids didn't care that the tree only had lights and neither did their parents. My daughter learned a lot sooner than I did to not stress over what wasn't done.

So the tree will acquire ornaments, the cards will go out, and the rest of the decorations will be hung--eventually. We'll go to church with our family on Christmas Eve and remember whose birthday we're celebrating.

As for cookies, I think I'll save baking more until the grandkids are out school after Christmas. And we'll have fun together again.

How do you handle the stress of the holidays?