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Sunday, October 22, 2017

#WeWriWa: THE PROTECTOR - Dillan under Rissa's roof


Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors where authors share an 8 - 10 sentence snippet. Be sure to visit the other authors. You can find them here.

Here's another excerpt from The Protector (An Outer Rim Novel: Book 3). I skipped ahead a little from last week. Rissa has offered her spare room to Dillan then immediately has second thoughts. (Alluded to before, this is a May-December romance. Rissa is December.)

He looked so different from the kid who used to come to Astron, he and his friends—rich teens with nothing to do but take risks. Idiot thrill seekers.
The Dillan Rusteran standing before her was no longer tanned from the suns of the various planets he and his friends visited to climb mountains, surf in treacherous oceans, or skydive out of their luxury space yachts. From what little she could see of his face beneath the shaggy, dark-brown beard, he had the pale skin of someone who spent a lot of time indoors. Worry lines creased his forehead and fanned out from his green eyes. His shoulders were broader, and his chest had filled out. Still trim, he had a solidity about him that hadn’t been there before.
This man would be sleeping under her roof. Again.




Who knew rescuing two girls from traffickers would bring down a world of hurt?

After tavern owner Rissa Dix rescues two girls from a slave ship, she must rally the townsfolk to prevent traffickers from returning. Mining heir Dillan Rusteran has loved her for years. Little do they know that by rescuing more children they're tangling with a galactic trafficking ring.

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34 comments:

  1. Charmaine GordonOctober 22, 2017 at 7:55 AM

    You wrote this so well, I could feel her emotions and love the description of THE GUY!

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    1. Diane BurtonOctober 23, 2017 at 10:18 AM

      Thanks, Charmaine. Feeling the emotions was what I was aiming for.

      Delete
  2. Jessica E. SubjectOctober 22, 2017 at 8:27 AM

    Great insight into what they had before, and what she knows is going to happen between them! A wonderful snippet! :)

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  3. AnonymousOctober 22, 2017 at 9:50 AM

    This is an impressive bit of writing, Diane. In one paragraph, you've managed to tell us what he used to be like and how he's changed.

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  4. Veronica ScottOctober 22, 2017 at 10:08 AM

    An interesting situation for sure. I agree with Ed, the snippet was really well done, as far as helping us understand the character's changes over time.

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    1. Diane BurtonOctober 23, 2017 at 10:20 AM

      Thanks, Veronica. It's important that she see those changes. And more, as she gets to know him better.

      Delete
  5. JennaOctober 22, 2017 at 10:35 AM

    He's a hell of a lot more interesting now than when he was younger. No wonder she pauses after offering to let him sleep under her roof. Great descriptive snippet!

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    Replies
    1. Diane BurtonOctober 23, 2017 at 10:20 AM

      Thanks, Jenna. Rissa is having a hard time reconciling the changes.

      Delete
  6. Daryl DevorĂ©October 22, 2017 at 10:53 AM

    Love the detail - tanned from the suns of the various planets - it gives such a sci fi feel. Awesome.
    tweeted.

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  7. Amy BraunOctober 22, 2017 at 11:47 AM

    Mmm he sounds pretty fine! ;)

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  8. Aurora SpringerOctober 22, 2017 at 12:05 PM

    Yes, great description of him and her restrained reaction.

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  9. Alexis DuranOctober 22, 2017 at 12:13 PM

    Ditto the others who said this is really a great description of him and how he's changed.

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  10. AdrianaOctober 22, 2017 at 2:42 PM

    Well done, great stuff!

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  11. ARHuelsenbeckOctober 22, 2017 at 4:22 PM

    I like the last two lines. There's mystery there.

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  12. Elaine CantrellOctober 22, 2017 at 8:58 PM

    I love the contrast between him in the past and him now.

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  13. TerriBruceOctober 22, 2017 at 11:32 PM

    Ditto what everyone else has said - this was a great paragraph that really conveyed his past and devil may care rich boy youth as compared to now. It's really well done! I always love a good May-December romance and it's refreshing to see one where the woman is the older one! <3

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    Replies
    1. Diane BurtonOctober 23, 2017 at 10:24 AM

      Thanks for your insight, Terri. I loved writing the older woman and younger man.

      Delete
  14. UnknownOctober 23, 2017 at 5:29 PM

    He sounds so much more tempting than he did before. Do the changes on the outside reflect the changes on the inside? I hope they do.

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    1. Diane BurtonOctober 24, 2017 at 12:04 PM

      Yes, he does seem more tempting. Those changes started happening & were caused by his last visit.

      Delete
  15. Hywela LynOctober 23, 2017 at 6:08 PM

    Oh, I love the description, and the emotinal conflicts she's feeling. Really well written and descriptive snippet!

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  16. Karen Michelle NuttOctober 23, 2017 at 11:59 PM

    Love the description of him. :)

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  17. UnknownOctober 25, 2017 at 11:16 AM

    You said so much in that short snippet- well done! Impressive! Another book to add to my TBR list!

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  18. MelissaOctober 25, 2017 at 7:47 PM

    Love it! Great writing. :)

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