Each weekend, the Weekend Writing Warriors share an 8 - 10 sentence snippet. Be sure to visit the other authors. You can find them here.
I hope you all are healthy, sheltering-in-place like the rest of us. I'm trying not to watch too much television coverage, but it's so compelling. The number count of deaths from COVID-19 reminds me of media coverage during the Vietnamese war. So scary. But Hubs and I are doing our part by staying away from people, including the grandkids, which for me is the worst part.
I'm sharing snippets from The Spy: An Outer Rim Novel. It's the 4th book in my series featuring strong women on the frontier of space.
Because this is a work in progress, suggestions are greatly appreciated. Genna is in Commission Vorinda's office while d'Sernin's handler (Kolang) reports.
Please excuse the creative punctuation, necessary to keep this within the guidelines.
“You
are dismissed,” Vorinda’s voice, even harder than before, could’ve nailed the
handler to the naurem wood door.
The
handler blanched, “But, sir, I—”
Vorinda
rose, his posture ramrod straight, “I said dismissed—do you not
understand Universal?”
“Uh,
yes, yes, sir,” Kolang [the handler] stumbled to his feet, “I thought you
wanted to know more about d’Sernin.”
“Leave
the data sheet with Genna, she’ll familiarize herself with what you discovered
about d’Sernin, you’re off that case—go down to the bullpen and wait for
further orders.”
“Sir?”
Kolang didn’t bother to hide his sneer, “She’s a trainee. She can’t—”
“She’s
a fully-qualified agent,” Vorinda’s indigo eyes hardened, “Dismissed.”
“But,
sir? How can she—”
“Do
you understand the meaning of the word dismissed,
Kolang?”
“Yes,
sir.” With his back to the commissioner, he smirked at her, “Suck up,”
he mouthed.
Be sure to check out the other WeWriWa authors.
Please stay safe during this pandemic. Sending virtual hugs.
I'm not sure if Kolang is underestimating her, or if he knows more about the situation than Genna is being told. Maybe a bit of both.
ReplyDeleteHe's being a butthead. lol
DeleteGreat scene, Di. You've planted all sorts of questions and doubts about who she should trust (herself included!). Stay safe and write lots!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could write...more than just blogs and responses. Lack of focus. Stay safe, too.
DeleteSo, I'm not sure, but I think he's been dismissed lol. Love the dialogue and the tone you've set here. Really nicely written. Stay safe, my friend! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Julie. He's lucky if he still has a job. lol
DeleteLOL - love it. I think a lot of people have been in that sort of situation - from either side of the conversation.
ReplyDeleteTweeted.
Thanks, Daryl. Yeah, he's just not getting that he's in trouble.
DeleteDramatic scene and I really enjoyed the back and forth, excellent dialog, crackling in fact. Terrific snippet.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Veronica. Dialogue is hard for WWW, being limited by sentences. I even had to cut some. lol
DeleteVorinda's message is loud and clear! Lots of drama here! Glad you are staying safe, even if it means sacrificing time with the grandchildren. I'm not fixating on the news myself.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Frank. Yeah, those little munchkins bring so much joy in my life, and boy do we need some joy right now. Stay safe.
DeleteGood riddance! Now they can get down to business. Vorinda's defensive of his agent in the field says a lot about both of them.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that handler was't helping.
DeleteWell this will definitely bring some bad blood between Genna and Kolang. Guess she can't expect his help in the future.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about missing the grands. The little ones are growing so quickly, they're like different people already since I last saw them. I hope this is over quickly and we get to hug and hold those sweet babies. :-)
Stay safe...
Just think--he might be her handler. Yikes! Yep, those little ones grow so quickly, esp. their vocabulary. Miss them!
DeleteDramatic scene full of tension.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Elaine.
DeleteI'm surprised he's being sent back to the bullpen. I thought sure he'd be out the door! Guess maybe he doesn't know the meaning of dismissed. Tense scene! Great snippet.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jenna. He is lucky. He should get a boot in the butt.
DeleteI'm not the only one who's surprised they'd let a newbie like her handle such a fraught assignment.
ReplyDeleteGood point, Ed. Vorinda will explain.
DeleteLoved the scene and great banter.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Karen.
DeleteThe tension is mounting... I like the snappy dialogue which helps the scene move quickly and kept me wondering what happens next. I also read your IWSG post and I’m sorry you broke your foot. It must be very sad without being able to spend time hugging your grandchildren, but you and your family are wise to play it safe. Take care of each other.
ReplyDeleteJulie
Thanks, Julie. The foot is almost healed now. Missing those kiddies. Stay safe.
DeleteOh man! I miss my grandkids too, Diane. As for your scene. Ooooo! I can feel the tension mounting between the three characters already. Bravo! All the luck with your work in progress. Be safe, my dear!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Victoria. I won't take those hugs for granted ever again.
DeleteThe anxiety from watching the numbers on the Covid map was becoming an obsession for me. And my anxieties levels were going through the roof. Then my husband pointed out that a cancer or a heart disease map would be scary too, but we've learned to adjust to those losses. I'm all in with the social distancing because I understand how bad this could get, but it's not going to be the end of us.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, Elizabeth. Watching the reports raises my anxiety levels, too, so I'm trying to cut back. We're staying home as much as possible (except for medical appts and groceries (curbside pickup). We all have to do our part to stay safe and help others to stay safe, too.
DeleteOoh, I like the interplay between them! Now I'm wondering what happens...
ReplyDeleteOh, good!
DeleteI've tried to limit seeing any news to just finding out what we should/shouldn't be doing in order to limit the spread – but it's hard to get that without a lot of other stuff.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right, Patsy.
DeletePLenty of tension in this snippet. Looking forward to more.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Elyzabeth.
Delete