Each weekend the Weekend Writing Warriors share an 8 - 10 sentence snippet. Be sure to visit the other authors. You can find them here.
A new year, a new story. I'm sharing a Middle Grade science fiction adventure. It's a work in progress, so suggestions would be great. I'm starting at the beginning with Chapter One [I start a riot].
Please excuse the creative punctuation, necessary to keep this within the guidelines. It's also edited from the original.
Another boring
class on another boring day in my boring life. Nothing ever happens here at Raythos
Outpost #3, the most boring place on the planet. I can’t wait to leave—just twenty-four
days and I’ll be off to Pamyria Tech, then I won’t have to listen to more of
this.
“…types of
governments: democracy, confederation,
autocracy…”
Blah, blah,
blah. I’ve heard this lecture a thousand times already, Teacher is only going
over it because Perfect Lukus missed the other nine hundred and ninety-nine
times. He’s fifteen—a year older than me—my best friend’s brother and a pain in
the butt. He only comes to class when his work in the stable is done. Lucky
him. I’d rather shovel zircan poop than sit through another history or
government lesson.
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I have a feeling things aren't going to be so boring for long. Though I do remember how monotonous middle grade can seem. Great intro!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jess.
Delete"Nothing ever happens here at Raythos Outpost #3..." Well, there's proof that it's all about to go south at Outpost #3. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'd read this. :-)
That's great, Teresa. Thanks.
DeleteAlways exciting and amusing.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Charmaine.
DeleteWell you've nailed the voice for this hero. Young, a bit cocky, and itching for something to happen. I think he's going to get his wish. Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteOh, dear. I should have identified the voice in my intro. (It happens in the next snippet.) Mara is the narrator.
DeleteI guess the middle grade attitudes don't change much, even in the far future! Enjoyed the snippet, quite a change of pace...
ReplyDeleteThanks. I wrote this a couple of years ago then did nothing with it. Glad to get approval.
DeleteOh, teenage angst - you capture it so well. Middle grade SciFi - nice move!!
ReplyDeleteAnd it gets worse. LOL Thanks, Nancy.
DeleteEven on a distant planet, middle school is still boring. Great job capturing the voice of the character, and my attention.
ReplyDeleteHappy to read that, Alexis. Thanks.
DeleteHah! Sounds like I used to feel in history class!
ReplyDeleteFor me, it was math. LOL
DeleteHe's not of a scholarly turn of mind, I gather.
ReplyDeleteNo, she's not. :)
DeleteFunny and you've caught the tone. I did wonder about the gender of the narrator, but the identification of Lukus as "her" best friend's brother gave me a hint of budding romance.
ReplyDeleteGood catch, Aurora.
DeleteI taught for 35 years. You definitely got this right.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Elaine. That means a lot.
DeleteHa! I sympathize with that last line! :D
ReplyDeleteLOL I loved school, so I can't identify with her. But...there's a good reason for her attitude.
DeleteThis kind of boredom is grounds for something terrible happening.
ReplyDeleteHehehe.
DeleteI have a feeling things won't stay boring for long!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteTotally teenaged boredom in a nutshell, and then... Whether you're on earth or in a space outpost, you know the coming moments will take the heroine out of her ordinary world. Good lead in.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Patrish. You're right.
DeleteI have a hunch her boring time is not going to last for long. :)
ReplyDeleteThis line made me chuckle. "I’d rather shovel zircan poop than sit through another history or government lesson."
Good. That's how I felt about math class. LOL
DeleteYou captured the teenage boy tone perfectly, even in outer space!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Nick.
Delete