Each weekend, the Weekend Writing Warriors share an 8 - 10 sentence snippet. Be sure to visit the other authors. You can find them here.
I'm sharing snippets from The Spy: An Outer Rim Novel. It's the 4th book in my series featuring strong women on the frontier of space.
Because this is a work in progress, suggestions are greatly appreciated. The chatty transport driver has brought her to a restaurant.
Your comments last week brought me up short. Yeah, why didn't she demand to get out? Why stay? As I've said before, you guys always give me ideas. So, I added a little bit. After he mentions the restaurant, she thinks that's perfect. It's not spaceport (where she wants to go) but close. And, if you remember from before, she never tells her real destination. She planned to just get takeout and go to her ship. Instead of making a scene (contrary to her instructions), she acquiesces. I hope that clarifies why she stays with him.
Snippet:
As the hostess led them through the noisy eatery, he said, “Bella’s mother owns this
place—wonderful food, you’ll love it.” Then, he leaned in close, “We both have
to eat. No fun to eat alone.”
His
breath tickled her ear, and another odd shiver zinged through her. He was too
close, too brazen. Too . . . too everything. Embarrassing. Unless she wanted to
draw attention to herself by marching out of the restaurant, she would have to tolerate
his touch.
The
commissioner had cautioned her to be inconspicuous until she reached Galeriana.
She would eat quickly, ditch him, and head out the back door. She had a
mission, and she needed to get started.
Rookie agent must rescue veteran before his cover is blown.
Genna Nogaro, new to the Coalition of Planets’ Intelligence
Commission, is assigned to bring in an undercover operative in Hallart’s
organization. More experienced agents died before getting him out. Were they
killed by the intergalactic gangster or has the operative gone rogue?
Quintall d’Sernin, con man extraordinaire, infiltrated the
mob and moved up to be the gangster’s right-hand man. Hallart has his tentacles
throughout the Coalition—business, industry, and government. Quin’s finally
worked himself into a valued position. All he needs is the key to the mob structure
in order for Coalition forces to take down the entire organization.
Genna will pose as a new recruit to distract Hallart long
enough for Quin to find the key. If they work together, they can accomplish
more. But Quin and Genna’s lives are jeopardized by a mole in the Intelligence
Commission. Will their true roles be revealed before they accomplish their
goal?
I worry what else he'll try as she tries to avoid making a scene. Will she truly be able to ditch him?
ReplyDeleteHe'll try anything! :)
DeleteUh oh. You've got to watch out for the zings. They might lead her to do something contrary to her mission, if she's not careful.
ReplyDeleteLOL Good one, Ed.
Delete"Gotta eat!" He's a sly one and she's not as immune as she'd like to be. Enjoying this, Di! Glad you're back to it!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Nancy. Great seeing you yesterday via Zoom. You're looking good.
DeleteShe really shouldn't be having a meal with the taxi driver. He must be persuasive and she seems to like some aspects although it's contrary to her mission.
ReplyDeleteGood point, Aurora.
DeleteAh, glad she's started thinking ahead and planning how to take back control of the situation.
ReplyDeleteShe'd better. LOL
DeleteEnjoyed the excerpt! This is a fun story for sure. You know and it may be that as you complete the WIP other things in the plot come up, regarding why she went with this guy to have lunch that you can baxktrack and add in earlier. I never know exactly what all will happen in my books LOL. I certainly DO get it that this guy is persistent and persuasive (but I like him).
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Veronica. I find that true, also. The more I review what I've written, plus everyone's comments, the more I need to backtrack and add/revise.
ReplyDeleteShe doesn't want to cause a scene but I think she's attracted to him even if she wants to deny it. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, yeah. She's attracted.
DeleteYeah right = she's gonna eat and run. I don't think that's going to work.
ReplyDeleteTweeted.
LOL, Daryl. She tries.
DeleteIt is just so weird that a taxi driver would invite himself to have lunch with her. I still think something else is going on. Tweeted.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jenna.
DeleteI still think something weird is going on with the taxi driver.
ReplyDeleteLOL You're too smart, Elaine.
DeleteI hope she can get out of this situation before it gets worse.
ReplyDeleteShe'd better.
DeleteIve always enjoyed this character. He is well written and given just enough that you like him, but a door is always open to where you question his motives. Great job, Diane.
ReplyDeleteThanks! Glad to hear that.
DeleteHow did I miss this last week?? This is outstanding. My curiosity is soooo piqued. Fantastic job writing these characters, Diane. I can hardly wait to read it!
ReplyDelete