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Saturday, January 19, 2019

#WeWriWa - RESCUING MARA'S FATHER: Why Mara Hates Government Class


Each weekend the Weekend Writing Warriors share an 8 - 10 sentence snippet. Be sure to visit the other authors. You can find them here.

I'm sharing a new story, a Middle Grade/YA science fiction adventure, titled Rescuing Mara's Father. It's a work in progress, so suggestions would be great. This snippet follows last week's. The narrator is Mara, an almost 15-year-old girl.

Please excuse the creative punctuation, necessary to keep this within the guidelines. It's also edited from the original.

Last week's snippet ended with: Teacher waits as I try to figure out what question he asked, while part of me wants to crawl under the table and hide, instead I continue to stand, back straight, head up, my face burning hotter than the Laborian Desert.

This week's snippet:

I stare back at Teacher. He knows I don’t want to be here. I’m just about the only kid in this outpost who has to go to school—no, make that the only kid on this planet since Outposts #1 and #2 don’t have any kids. Wish I lived over there. As far as I’m concerned, learning history or government is a waste of time. Now, learning the inner workings of a Gilean Cruiser would be a lot more interesting.
“Psst,” Jako whispers behind me, “Example of autocracy,” Jako always has my back. He’s the best friend a girl could have, even if he is only eleven.
“CoalitionPlanetComparaintheCentralDistrict,” I say in a rush and sit down.
“And why is the government of Compara considered an autocracy?” Teacher waits.


Tentative blurb:
My father is gone! Taken by the Queen of Compara’s agents. I have to rescue him before the Queen tortures and kills him.
Never mind, we’ve had a rocky road lately. Instead of the kind, loving father I’ve always known, he’s become demanding, critical, with impossible expectations—not just as Father but also as the only teacher in our frontier outpost. I’d rather scoop zircan poop than listen to another boring lecture about governments on Central Planets. Give me a starship engine to take apart or, better yet, fly, and I’m happy.
Never mind, Father promised I could go off planet to Tech Institute next month when I turn fifteen, where I’ll learn to fly starships.
Never mind, I ran away because I’m furious with him for reneging on that promise. Father is my only parent. I have to save him.


Be sure to check out the other WeWriWa authors. 


31 comments:

  1. Without his friend, where would he be. In general, I'm no fan of run-on words, but this one works wonderfully.

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  2. Hmm, I wonder if the teacher is on to him and his 11 year old accomplice. :-) This sounds like a story my niece would enjoy! :-)

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    1. Thanks, Teresa. I thought of my 11 yo granddaughter when I wrote it.

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  3. Always more excitement. Super exciting, Diane

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  4. School can be so borig when it's a subject you're not interested in. Enjoying your snippets from this story!

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    1. Thanks, Jess. I remember sitting through Trigonometry class, bored out of my skull. LOL

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  5. As I always loved history and government, I can't exactly relate, however, substitute math and I'm totally on the same page. Having a friend to back you up is the best thing in the world. I hope he can help with the explanation too!

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  6. Oh boy, your snippet flashes me back to school days for sure. Well done, enjoyed the continuation of the story. She's lucky she has a good friend there!

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    1. She is lucky, Veronica. The 2 of them always have each other's back. It's kind of funny that no matter how long ago we were in a classroom, we still remember. :)

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  7. Ah - I sense a foreshadowing about Comparan society.

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  8. Of course, there's always a follow-up question. At least she heard this one, and hopefully has an answer, after all something must have made her give that example.

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    1. That's the truth, Ian. Mara has heard this lecture before.

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  9. I'm interested to hear her reply and learn more about this world.

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  10. Brings back all those nightmares of being called on in class and having every answer . . . except that one! Enjoying this new venture, Di!

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    1. Of course. That's what made this scene easy to write. I remember! Thanks for the encouragement. Finally, a book my grandkids can read. Well, the older ones, anyway. :)

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  11. I was on the other side of this story - I was The Teacher. LOL
    Tweeted.

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    1. Thanks, Daryl. I was a teacher, too, but I loved the POV of the student.

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  12. It's good that she has a nice friend like Jako to watch out for her. This sort of situation would be even worse without friends.
    I was a terrible misfit throughout school. I think the system needs an overhaul.

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    1. Mara is lucky to have Jako. He's pretty lucky, too.

      I agree about overhauling the education system, starting with year-round school and individual education plans. Grouping kids by chronological age is ridiculous. Don't get me started. LOL

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  13. Ah... school days. Doesn't matter where or when, it's all the same for kids on any planet... cool premise and it's great to have a best bud.

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