Welcome to Weekend Writing Warrior and 8 Sentence Sunday, the weekly hops for everyone who loves to read and write! Writers share an 8 to10 sentence snippet. Be sure to visit the other writers. You can find them here.
My snippet is from my upcoming release, THE CASE OF THE MEDDLING MAMA, an Alex O'Hara Novel, third in my PI mystery series. Along with some creative punctuation, it hasn't been edited yet, so suggestions are welcome.
This snippet comes immediately after last week's. The ending of which said Maria Palzetti didn't know she was Alex's mother-in-law. Here's the explanation.
It’s like this—last fall, her son Nick
returned to Far Haven. Dumb me, I thought he came to either A) take my business
away from me, or B) see me. Wrong on both fronts. Seems he wasn’t a pencil
pusher for the State Department, like I’d always thought. Nope, he was a spy
for some agency that didn’t exist—well, it did, but you know what I mean. And
he’d come home on a mission, which of course he hadn’t shared with me.
Once it was over, he declared he
loved me. Me, the girl he’d grown up with, who’d had the biggest teenage crush
on him, who’d given up on him ever seeing her as a woman, not like a kid sister. Not only that, we were so crazy in
love—or was it lust?—that we “got married in a fever” as the song goes.
My dad and Nick’s folks had been on an Australian cruise of a lifetime,
so they still didn’t know about the wedding. See, Nick disappeared on our
wedding night.
Well, that's quite the situation. I definitely want to know more. Fabulous snippet! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jess.
DeleteNice encapsulation. Brings reader right into the middle of it. Great last line, Di!
ReplyDeleteGood. Thanks.
DeleteLove the tone and voice of this, Diane. Definitely more-ish. Please
ReplyDeleteLOL, Kim. Okay.
DeleteAbsolutely just the right touch. Just enough for the reader to turn the page and keep on turning.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Charmaine. That's what I'm aiming for.
DeleteThis is all very interesting. Nick is gone (on a spy job maybe?) and the bride has to deal with the mother-in-law.
ReplyDeleteYep.
DeleteWow, disappearing on the wedding night! Why do I have a feeling that's not gonna go over well?
ReplyDeleteIt didn't. LOL
DeleteGreat last line. So now, will she tell both families of the marriage? Or will she keep it to herself until she gets an explanation for Nick's sudden disappearance? Definitely want to know more.
ReplyDeleteOh, good, Rachel. Leave the reader wanting more. LOL
DeleteTwists and turns galore here! But I love it and can't wait for more details...great snippet, a classic story going on here, in all the best senses of the word.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Veronica. Lots more twists to come.
DeleteOops! It's the case of the missing groom/husband.
ReplyDeleteLOL
Delete(Not sure my comment went through the first time.) Talk about short marriages, this one takes the (wedding) cake.
ReplyDeleteGlad you persisted, Ed. Love your comment.
DeleteIn-laws and missing grooms. Ready for more. I love a good mystery. :D
ReplyDeleteOh, good. :)
DeletePoor Alex! My heart breaks for her.
ReplyDeleteAw. That's sweet.
DeleteNick is gone? Wow! Great plot twist.
ReplyDelete:)
DeleteAwe, the poor girl! And everyone knows everyone else. What a skunk, taking off like that. "Spy" is no excuse! :-)
ReplyDeleteA skunk is right. And she let him know it when he returned.
DeleteWow. That was one wild ride.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Aldrea.
DeleteWow. That is some kind of life. Loved it!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Amy.
DeleteI'm hooked. He disappeared on their wedding night? Gotta know what happened.
ReplyDeleteGood. hehehe
DeleteDamn. After all that and he just disappears? I'm curious to know what happened!
ReplyDeleteIn time. Be patient. :)
DeleteI hope he has a good reason for vanishing, because that's a terrible thing to do!
ReplyDeleteYou bet it was.
DeleteThat certainly puts a crimp in the "happily ever after" plans, doesn't it? Jeeze! Is he coming back?
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ReplyDelete