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Saturday, March 24, 2018

#WeWriWa - NUMBERS NEVER LIE Sweaty and Dirty


Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors where authors share an 8 - 10 sentence snippet. Be sure to visit the other authors. You can find them here

Thanks for all your comments on last week's snippet from my work-in-progress, a romantic suspense, Numbers Never Lie.

Suggestions are very welcome on the blurb as well as the snippet. 

Today's snippet immediately follows last week's. Drew is on a camping trip with his daughter and seven other girls, organized by Maggie. He pulled his daughter aside to ask where the bathrooms are. Her disgust with him not listening to her ends last week's snippet.


 She didn’t believe him? What happened to the adulation for him that used to be in her eyes? The “Dad is perfect” look.
As he’d done several times in the past three hours, he took out his handkerchief, looked at it in disgust, and tried to find a clean spot. He wiped the sweat off his forehead. It was hot and sticky, more like August in Michigan than June. Drew intensely disliked sweating. Clean sweat—in a gym—was all right. Not this . . . dirt. More than sweaty, he hated being dirty.


This is the tentative blurb:

A shocking secret brings danger to Jack Sinclair and his sister Maggie. 

As kids, they were the fearless threesome. As adults, Jack's an accountant; Drew, a lawyer; Maggie, a teacher and camping troop leader. Returning from a weekend camping trip, Maggie receives horrifying news. She refuses to believe her brother’s fatal car crash was an accident. If the police won’t investigate, she’ll do it herself. Convincing Drew Campbell to help is her only recourse.

Drew Campbell was too busy to return his best friend’s phone call. Too busy to attend a camping meeting important to his teen daughter. Too busy to stay in touch with Jack. Logic and reason indicate Jack’s accident was just that--an accident caused by fatigue and fog. Prodded by guilt, he’ll help Maggie even if he thinks she’s wrong.

A break-in at Jack’s condo convinces Maggie she’s right. Then her home is searched. What did Jack leave behind?



30 comments:

  1. LOL I can relate. Though it's the bugs I have the biggest problem with. Nice snippet! :)

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  2. I loved camping as a kid. Now, I prefer something with stars attached :)

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    1. LOL I enjoyed the camping I did with my daughter's GS troop, but you won't see me volunteering to go with my granddaughter's troop.

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  3. Camping is definitely the wrong activity for him then!

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    1. Yep! All he wanted was a little time with his daughter. Poor guy.

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  4. He's not a happy camper!
    I agree about the bugs being worse than dirt.

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    1. Maybe I need to add in some bugs, ya think?

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  5. Sounds like that adulation needs to be earned these days :) And he's not going to earn it by complaining!

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    1. Good point. Father & daughter are having some problems.

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  6. Funny that he doesn't mind 'clean' sweat.... Great job

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  7. Drew sure seems to be in the wrong place at the wrong time on this camping trip. You really portray his discomfort clearly! Great snippet...

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    1. Thanks, Veronica. This is what he gets for not listening to his daughter.

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  8. You're doing a great job establishing creaky old bones underlying a relationship (Maggie/Drew) that is about to become crucial. Lots of potential for conflict.

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    1. Thanks so much, Ed. That's what I hoped you would see.

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  9. Oh he's such a 'townie' isn't he! :) No offence to people who prefer towns to the countryside, but he's not even trying to make an effort for his daughter's sake

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    1. Remember, he's just thinking all this "complaining." He isn't cut out for camping. Yet.

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  10. Dirty sweat vs clean sweat - love it.
    Tweeted.

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    1. Thanks, Daryl. I kinda liked that, too. :)

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  11. Hmmm...methinks camping might not be the sport for him! lol

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    1. From this chapter, it isn't. But you never know...

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  12. One day, kids realize their parents are people--and imperfect. Sounds like his daughter has figured that out!

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  13. If he's trying to impress his daughter, this doesn't seem to be a good place for it! Nice that he's trying, though.

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    1. Both of them have different expectations. But he is trying.

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  14. Loved camping as a kid but now I want the comfort of a hotel. lol I can relate to not wanting to be sweaty and dirty. :)

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