Welcome to the Weekend Writing Warriors
I'm sharing a snippet from the 2nd Alex O'Hara mystery novel, The Case of the Fabulous Fiancé. Alex is a P.I. in the small Lake Michigan resort town near Grand Rapids. This continues from last week. Some changes were made to the original.
Snippet:
After I unlocked my office, I heard her
on her cell phone, “I will be late this morning, Isaac. Postpone my ten
o’clock. I know, I know, tell them . . .”
I didn’t need to hear the rest of her
instructions to her personal assistant to get the point that she was not only
busy but important. After closing the door to my office, I did a fast repair.
The small mirror in my desk revealed that a tornado had done its damage to my
hair. I tried to tame it then wrapped a scrunchie around the mass.
She’d have to take me as I was.
And a little more:
When I opened my door, she was still
on her phone. As soon as she looked up, she held up one finger in the
traditional “one minute” gesture. Normally, I’d give a client privacy. But
after her pointed remarks about my being “late,” I stood in my open door and
waited.
Finally, she disconnected and came
toward me. As she passed me into my office, I realized how small she was. Dainty,
even. If I hadn’t heard her giving orders on the phone, I would’ve thought
fragile. Nobody would call me dainty or fragile. I stood five-ten in my
stocking feet, and I’m what they call “big-boned.” Back in the old country, I’d
be good for digging potatoes or throwing hay around for the animals.
In keeping with her elegant clothes,
she wore her dark brown hair in a classic twist. Her jewelry, revealed after
she sat and shrugged off her coat, was tasteful and expensive—like the watch.
Wide gold necklace, gold with diamonds studs in her ears. No wedding or
engagement rings, but a discreet gold and sapphire ring graced her right hand.
She stared pointedly at the big desk.
“Where is your boss?”
“Let’s start over.” I held out my
hand. “Alex O’Hara, and you are?”
Blurb:
She’s at it again. Alex O’Hara just can’t say no to a new investigation. What do a 45-year-old boyfriend, a deadbeat dad, and a teenage runaway have in common? All new cases. With no receptionist, phone and internet problems, and her own boyfriend in the wind, Alex has no idea how she’ll manage. But the question for the past three months is why did Nick disappear. Is this the end of O’Hara & Palzetti?
Amazon US ~ Amazon UK ~ Kobo ~ iBooks ~ B&N ~ Smashwords
Be sure to check out the other WeWriWa authors. Stay safe and have a great week!
She may be important, but she's definitely going to have to depend on Alex now. Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jess. She'd better come off her high horse if she wants Alex's help.
DeleteI liked your description-by-compare-and-contrast. Very effective.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ed.
DeleteYou gave us just enough information about these two characters to create a really interesting dynamic and make the reader crave more! Great job!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Julie. You never know how much is enough or too much.
DeleteLove the way Alex takes change here! Nice descriptions (and of course, I love this book!).
ReplyDeleteThanks, Nancy. (big grin) This isn't Alex's 1st rodeo or her 1st encounter with a client who thinks they are super important.
DeleteGreat description of the rich client!
ReplyDeleteSome people wear their importance...and their wealth.
DeleteI love Alex's attitude!
ReplyDeleteI could have kept reading. Perfect mix of description and action!
Thanks, Teresa. I dislike reading long paragraphs of description.
DeleteThis was a great snippet that kept me reading and makes me want to read more.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Natalie.
DeleteI like Alex, especially the way nothing seems to rattle her and wow, does she take in the details! A good trait for a detective! Great snippet...
ReplyDeleteYou're right. A good detective has to be observant.
DeleteGreat description. That and their tension-filled interactions pulled me right along.
ReplyDeleteGreat. Thanks, Alexis.
DeleteI love Alex. She is such a strong sense of self.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Shari.
DeleteExcellent description of both women--a study in contrasts. Can't wait to find out who this client is!
ReplyDeleteLove the descriptions and the assumptions made from them.
ReplyDeleteTweeted.
Love the contrasting here. Great descriptions.
ReplyDeleteGreat snippet. I love her vivid details from her hair disaster to the woman on the phone. I'm curious to know who that woman is, too.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah... they're off to a great start. HA!
ReplyDelete