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Monday, April 8, 2013

Showers



April showers bring May flowers—or so the saying goes. While I can’t wait for the flowers, I’m looking forward to another kind of shower. Next weekend, my daughter, granddaughter and I are giving a bridal shower for my niece.



Showers are a tradition when women gather to share in the happiness of one of our own. In our family, we always invite the young girls, too—mostly so they can share in the fun, but also so they’ll know how to carry on the tradition.

I love showers. They’re like birthdays and Christmas rolled into one. There are games that make us laugh and learn more about the newly engaged. And presents. Boy, are there presents! Often the bride-to-be encourages the little girl(s) to “help” open the gifts. We ooh and aah and enjoy the bride-to-be’s enthusiastic thank you’s. We tell her how much use she’ll get out of this appliance or that. We’ll share our experiences using such-and-such.

That’s something women do—share. It’s how we relate to each other. Last year, I blogged about how women are different from men. I shared insights garnered from a workshop done by Eileen Dryer at my writers’ retreat. (If you want to read that blog, click here for the link.) From the beginning of time, women have shared their experiences with one another as a way to help the next generation—at first, for survival then as a method of connecting.

At a bridal shower, we share in the bride-to-be’s joy. When I look at my niece, happiness just seems to radiate from her. When she and her fiancé are together, they look so thoroughly in love. To some, this may sound sappy, but then I write about happy ever after.

Our books, where the romance is essential to the story, usually end with the engagement or at least the declaration of love and promise of a life together. That is just the beginning of a couple’s life together. Those of us who have been married for a while know that marriage isn’t all happiness and bliss. Problems spring up that have to be worked out together. Habits become irritable. Children change the dynamics. Selfishness spells disaster.

Though we know all that we still have great hopes for the newly engaged. Perhaps it’s because we see in them ourselves many, many years ago. We remember how in love we were. I wish there was a device that could capture a moment of pure happiness. Then, in times of trouble, the device would allow a person to “see” that happiness. Oh, wait. We already have that device. It’s called memory.

Next Saturday as I watch friends and relatives share in my niece’s happiness, I’ll remember how happy I was at my own showers. Because life added some weird twists to the journey Hubs and I began forty-plus years ago, that happiness has changed. It’s gotten stronger. I hope my niece will find that to be true for her and her fiancé.

12 comments:

  1. Loved this blog, Diane. Last Saturday I attended a baby shower for a great-niece. What a very happy event. A continuing HEA in the family that keeps on growing. Showers of any kind are a tradition in our family and I predict we'll never tire of giving them. :)

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    1. I agree, Loralee. I'll never tire of giving/attending showers.

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  2. The end of June I'll be attending a shower for my son's soon-to-be-bride. In a way, a shower seems silly. She and my son have been lving together for 4 years. The two of them have high paying jobs. If they want something, they buy it. It used to be a shower was to give the bride-to-be gifts for her new home or clothing she might need now that she's leaving her family. I have a feeling this shower is more important for the older generation. What my soon-to-be daughter-in-law is looking forward to is her bachelorette party. So are we carrying on traditions or clinging to what we remember?

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    1. Good point, Maris. In fact, that's what I read on Wikipedia when I researched bridal showers.

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  3. That sounds like such fun. I wen to my daughters baby shower a few months ago and had a great time.

    Dark Thoughts Blog

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  4. Showers are such fun! One of the greatest things about being a woman is sharing in that sense of community. Though Maris has a good point. With marriages happening later and people living together and establishing careers first, it doesn't seem as necessary. Now, baby showers...take it from the mom of a four year old. I couldn't have made it without that shower. That's where you learn about the REAL parts of motherhood! And yet, I still feel so unprepared.

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    1. I love that sense of community. Lately, my family has only gotten together for funerals. It's great when we get together for a happy occasion.

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  5. You are so right. I remember my first bridal shower amidst my grandmother's chemo treatments for liver cancer. She was my best friend. I wore her wedding dress. I was only 17. She gave me the party at the church. It was such a strange event to look back on now. Most of the women were older women from church and they wanted to wish me all the best but there was death hiding in the corner and the party was almost a celebration of going on of beating death even for another day. Thank you for bringing that wonderful memory back!

    Melissa

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    1. What a wonderful memory, Melissa. Thanks for sharing.

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  6. Diane,

    You always have such great insight into simple life events. Presents aside, it's the sense of sharing and community that's important.

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