Yesterday, people in the U.S. celebrated Dads. I celebrated the day I knew my blind date was going to be my husband. We’d had two dates and were going to go on our third. I stopped at home to wish my dad a happy day, and I remember telling him how special this guy was. Turns out I was right. He is special.
On my friend Lucy Kubash’s blog last Friday, she talked about how she and her husband have stayed together for forty-four years. Almost as long as Hubs and I have been married. She says “you can’t go through 44 years without a lot of ups and downs…” Isn’t that the truth!
Living with the same person for that many years takes work. We’ve had our share of health scares, financial worries, and a myriad of nitpicky problems that at the time seemed enormous but in hindsight were mere blips on the road to happiness. I can truthfully say, the good times far outweighed the difficult ones.
They say opposites attract. And that’s true with us. He’s the engineer, the science guy, Mr. Fix-It, a DIY expert. I’m more into the arts. He’s patient and calm while I’m short-tempered and excitable. While he is quiet in large groups, he learned more about my uncles in an afternoon than I did my whole life. He’s an only child. I’m the oldest of seven. You could count on one hand his relatives. I need a calculator to count mine.
We grew up in a time when parents did little for their kids at school or with sports. Our folks went to school if there were problems. They didn’t go to our activities. We talk today about “helicopter parents.” Imagine the opposite. That was our parents. So we didn’t have anything to imitate. We became involved at school and outside activities because it seemed like the right thing to do. Foreign territory for Hubs. Not so much for me as a former teacher. But he did it in his quiet way.
One of the things that drove me crazy when our kids were young was his not telling them they couldn’t do something. Instead, he got them to lay out all the pros and cons and come to their own conclusions. A far better and more lasting lesson than just saying “no.”
The best testament to Hubs came from his daughters yesterday on Facebook. Our daughter wrote about her dad and her husband: “I'm grateful for two amazing dads who are willing to share their wisdom, their humor, their patience, and their geekiness with their kids!”
Our daughter-in-law wrote: “You raised a wonderful son and taught him how to be an awesome father and husband! It's clear he had an amazing role model!”
So here’s to my husband, my best friend, and the best father. As I write in the acknowledgements in my books: How glad I am that our friends fixed us up on that blind date!